Friday, December 20, 2024

Yankee Holiday Songbook

And so it is Christmas.  
And what have we done...
Another year over.  
The World Series still not won.

 

Soto's Gone (Jingle Bells)

Soto's gone. Soto's gone.
Just five miles away.
Uncle Stevie closed the deal while Hal refused to pay...

Hey.

Soto's gone. Soto's gone.
Yes he joined the Mets.
Hal says it will be okay. Brian's signed some ancient vets.

Dashing all our hopes.
No more tough at-bats.
Our joy must come from bobbleheads 
and buying new themed hats.

We won't see a ring.
Not in our lifetimes.
All we have is this song to sing.
Well, at least it rhymes.

Oy!

Soto's gone. Soto's gone.
Just five miles away.
Uncle Stevie closed the deal.
While... Hal... refused... to... pay!

---

I'm Dreaming of Bill White's Christmas

I'm dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas,
Just like the ones we used to know.
Where the Yanks don’t stumble
The Red Sox crumble 
And the owner cared less about the dough.









I’m dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas 
Back with the booth I used to like. 

When Frank Messer bought his child bride a trike... 
And, of course, with Scooter at the mic.


I'm dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas
Just like the ones we used to know.
With Ron Guidry sliders 
And drunk all nighters...
Before Billy Martin hit the snow.

I’m dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas 
Back with the booth I used to like...

When the off season would get us psyched...
And, of course, with Scooter at the mic.

 ---

Boonie The Robot Skipper (Rudolph the Red Nosed...)

Boonie The Robot Skipper
Runs things analytically. 
Ignoring the situation.
Percentages is all he sees.  

He sits there blowing bubbles. 
Never chews a player out, 
for bad throws or bad base-running 
Good qualities is all he'll tout. 


Then one day while in the Bronx
World Series on the line.
Watched the whole damn team melt down
Thinking, “We're good. This is fine.”  

Boonie the Robot Skipper
Failed to change the course that day.
Still the front office loves him.
So... he'll... never... go... a-way.
 


8 comments:

JM said...

My Christmas spirit is haunting someone else this year, but these are excellent singalongs for Yankees households. I miss The Scooter-White-Messer combo, too. Who knew back then we'd be stuck with a Michael Kay or a Paul O'Neill for years?

Did we get rid of Stroman yet? That's all I want for Christmas this year. And for Hanukkah, let's get rid of Rodent. A tougher deal to swing, but there are eight days to work with.

AboveAverage said...

Nice work, Doug!

13bit said...

my eyes are tearing up over here...

edb said...

Very nice Jim. A few alternate lines. Boone is a doofus. Takeing out Cole in the first game is proofus. His um um ah ah's and BS, has never past the test. He is still the manager because he is Cashman's boy. His buffon managing is little cause for joy!

13bit said...

To "Run Run Rudolph"

RUN RUN STANTON, YOU CAN MAKE IT TO FIRST BASE.
WE KNOW YOU'RE IN A HURRY CAUSE YOU'RE JOGGING WITH A BROKEN LACE.
THEN AWAY WENT STANTON, HISSING LIKE A CAN OF MACE.

BOONIE SAID TO COLE, WHAT WOULD PLEASE YOU MOST TO GET?
GERRIT SAID A GAME WITH A LEAD OF MAYBE FIVE OR SIX.
THEN AWAY WENT STANTON, HUFFING LIKE A FLAMING JET.

BTR999 said...

From the NYY PR Dept

The New York Yankees announced that they have acquired RHP Fernando Cruz and C Alex Jackson from the Cincinnati Reds in exchange for C Jose Trevino.

All 3 players coming off down years. Cruz was 3-8 with a 4.86 ERA in 69 games for the Reds. Alex Jackson hit .122 with 3 HRs in 58 games.

A minor salary dump pure and simple.

edb said...

Typical Genius Cashman move. The catcher is another Ben Rortvedt

HoraceClarke66 said...

I'm all verklempt, Doug! Really, cheeriest thing I've read in a long time! Other than the face that we're getting Fernando Cruz and Alex Jackson, of course.