Our third donation to the National Portrait Gallery at the Smithsonian Institution: Big Papi, David Ortiz

If Peter Gammons can donate portraits than so can we!

Our first donation: Pedro Martinez

Our second donation: Our esteemed commissioner, Bud Selig

Eight reasons why it's fun to watch the Redsocks

1. They still think Jacoby Ellsbury will be a superstar.

2. They claim to not be worried about Dice K.

3. Adrian Gonzalez has a bad thumb.

4. Tim Wakefield made the team.

5. They released Dennys Reyes after three games.

6. Big Papi is so puffed he looks like a stuffed animal with a ballcap.

7. Papelbon is ticking.

8. It's only a matter of time before Manny writes a book.

The Searchers

What is it about the Yankee pitching brain trust that accounts for all the failed arms?

As Redsocks lose again, Charlie Sheen offers "bitchin'" hope

Charlie Sheen -- whose recent hit TV show was named after the Yankees pitching rotation -- came to Boston yesterday to give aid and comfort to the struggling Hubville nine.

The hooker-bashing sitcom king and celebrity-from-birth Hollywood truth torpedo visited a Boston radio call in show where, hopefully, he would say something crazy that could generate a few more headlines and keep his Viagra-hazed, coke-is-it marathon afloat for another week.

No luck. He apparently is moving into a "grand old man" phase of evolution; he was asked what everyone in Boston wants to know: What's wrong with the Redsocks.

"I'd tell everybody to shut up, that they'll bounce back," Sheen said. "It's a long season and there's a ton of talent there and a really bitchin' hitters park they play in. Relax."


So there you have it. Relax. Bitchin park. Bounce back. He spake this as Boston was losing to Tampa 3-2.

Sad time. Charlie's losing his edge. Back in the old days, three weeks ago, he would screamed about putting tiger blood on Curt Schilling's socks, or buying Big Papi some quality bush. Now, it's "relax."

Well, he's right. It's way too early to beat on a hooker. Nevertheless... another day, another Boston loss. Adrian Gonzalez has a bad thumb. Carl Crawford has yet to hit. Dice K is totally fried, and everybody knows it. Lackey? Clayman? Dare we dream? How long can they stay down? Let's enjoy it while we can. Back in the good old days, three weeks ago, that's what Charlie would have done.

Buck Showalter was an official of the 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks, the worst winners in history

In case you forgot..

Seconds after the Diamondbacks won the 2001 World Series -- ruining two of the greatest single-game comebacks in baseball history, which were made on behalf of a city that had suffered a terror attack, by a team that was wearing the emblem of the heroic New York City Fire Department -- Arizona officials (of which former Yankee manager Buck Showalter was one) directed their public address system to play, "New York, New York," the musical equivalent of "YANKEES SUCK."

They had never won a World Series before, and this is how those fugging bastards celebrated.

The Arizona Diamondbacks are America's biggest sports team contributors to the Republican Party.

Buck Showalter was a part of that. Don't let him act like a former Yankee. He's not a former Yankee anymore. Here at IT IS HIGH his membership card has been revoked.

Never forget.

YANKEETORIAL: Manny Ramirez MUST go into The Hall!

To the Yankiverse:

Last night brought the first barf-see TV event of 2011.

I tuned in late: The Rays had a 10-run lead over Boston, Dice Kei Matsusaka had barely lasted 2 innings, and Tim Wakefield was throwing straight to the backstop, without catcher Saltymatsusaka even touching the ball. Tampa players jogged from base to base, and the announcers -- didn't catch their names - weren't bothering to discuss the game.

They just kicked the ragged-ass carcass of the former Manny Ramirez.

A stupid man, they said. A stupid, stupid, stupid man. A mean-spirited, stupid man who once punched that beloved traveling secretary. By testing positive for illegal drugs, Manny has embarrassed himself and the game of baseball, which today - thankfully, they said - is controlling those substances. Manny in the Hall? Pttuii. He's a stupid, stupid, awful, terrible, bad, stupid man.  Never shalt he be allowedeth in such a sacred placeth.

Same crapola as Joe Buck and Tim McCarver delivered over the weekend.

Until listening to these these pompass gasbags bloviate.. I would have agreed.

Now, fukkit. Put him in the hall.

I'm tired of these post-career morality tests for ex-stars, administered by the courtiers who spent their careers inflating those larger-than-life personas -- and always managing to look the other way.

Baseball has a huge crisis on its hands because of its deal with Mephistophiles, brokered in the late 1990s, when it sought to restore market share following the 1994 players striike (which was caused by small market owners - billionaires, pretending to be millionaires - trying to force a salary cap.) The staggering home run totals of McGwire, Sosa, Bonds, et al, ginned up sagging popularity, especially in the National League, where the quality of play had deteriorated so far beneath the American League that franchises had nothing else to sell. 

Now, these moral giants want to throw an invisibility cloak over the entire era, just pretend it didn't happen. They want to go back to the Roger Maris gold standard, to before A-Rod and Manny and a whole generation that didn't get caught -- and where were they when it was happening? The answer: They were on the vanguard of promoting the sport.

Listen: Great baseball hitters have always been cheats, drunkards, bums and bastards. Ty Cobb was pure evil. Babe Ruth was a glutton. Mickey Mantle was a drunk, Ted Williams hit on every woman who walked in the clubhouse, Wade Boggs was a sex addict, Pete Rose gambled, Maury Wills did coke, Canseco - what didn't he do. Billy Martin, he punched out TWO traveling secretaries... TWO! His number is retired.

Listen: These all-time greats were stupid men. Stupid, stupid men. But they were all-time greats. They were beloved, warts and all.

I would love to see these holier-than-thou announcers put to the same level of life magnification that A-Rod gets. Maybe Las Vegas should open a second wing of the Hall... the modern extension. The Charlie Sheen Wing.

Hello, Roger? Hello, Raphael? Hello, Manny? Cooperstown doesn't want you; they're too pious to be in your presence. Maybe somebody else will take you.

PUT MANNY IN THE HALL!
ANOTHER REDSOCK IN COOPERSTOWN!

SCORPS GET NEW SKIP

Canseco to be player/manager

RADIO FROM HELL

Nobody has done more to kill AM radio in America than Rush Limbaugh.

In the minute that you take to read this, five more of his listeners will have died, choking on the creamed corn they were being served twice a day. If you're not running all the games, you're not a Yankee Station.

Goodnight, Clear Channel. And good riddance.

(You get better reception on the cell phone anyway.)

Remember ... the redsocks may have won two of three against the Yankees, but overall, they've still lost ...

Seven of Nine

Insanity, thy name is Yankee fan

Note: It is April 12.

Yankees topple Redsock victory celebration by avoiding no-hitter

Thanks to some crisp hitting by supersub Eric Chavez, the Yankees last nightly nimbly scotched former free-falling Boston ace Josh Beckett's bid for history. Yeahp. If any Boston fans thought the Buckett, last year's Freddy Garcia and Kevin Millwood, was going to throw a no-hitter at us -- Hah! -- think again, suckahhh!

I believe we had TWO (2) -- yes -- two solid base hits. Not only that, but several batters knocked the ball all the way into the outfield. And on a couple of the grounders to Pedroia, our runners were within a step of first before being called out.

We kept the crowd from being able to confidently chant 'YANKEES SUCK' until the 7th. Coupled with the signing of former Cubs' ace Carlos "Curtis Sliwa" Silva, it was a great weekend all around. Hooray. I'm so happy.

Here Is John's Weird Russell Martin Call, Posted On YouTube By Somebody Else. Not Us.

Thanks to Awful Announcing

Five THUHS... looking for six.

Ten Reasons Why There Is No Downside to Signing Curtis Sliwa

1. If anybody steps out of line, anybody, he'll beat them up.

2. His tough talk on the radio show notwithstanding, he has a heart of gold and only wants to do good.

3. He teams with Millwood, Garcia and Colon to comprise the new Yankee Core Four.

4. He'll put fannies in the seats in Moosic.

5. Role model for Andrew Brackman.

6. Is Phil Hughes hitting 80 on the gun?

7. Let's see... running out of ideas... any connection to the campaign to put Roger Maris in the Hall? No? Wait a minute! Curtis Sliwa WOULD put Roger Maris in the Hall.

8. Addition to Scranton could produce domino effect, sending Kei Igawa to Charleston.

9. It's always nice to have the Cubs paying for our pitchers.

10. Wait a minute. It's Carlos Silva? I TAKE IT ALL BACK.

Hello from Scranton

Jesus Montero kills a canary in the coal mine. He's batting .400.

Ghaah

John Not Done Yet

Not satisfied with his lean "Russell shows muscle" HR call, John today tacked some god damned French onto it.

Phil Hughes Rhymes With.....

This post is, admittedly, a follow-up to an earlier post by El Duque, in which he ponders words that rhyme with Hughes.

How many can identify the person in the photo at right?

No, it is not El Duque as a college boy.

It is Claus Fuchs...some kind of lunatic atomic spy for some weird country.

His last name is pronounced just like the curse word, similar to the way the Koch brothers' name is pronounced by their lover, Glenn Beck.

So here's how it works: Claus Fuchs rhymes with Claus Sucks, which rhymes with Phil Hughes.

Ten Reasons Why Manny Ramirez Belongs in the Hall of Fame

1. For Redsock greats, it's first step to having head chopped off and frozen.

2. Special class with Palmero, Bonds and Big Papi.

3. Will be able to charge more for used gas grills on eBay.

4. Would take pee break during induction speech.

5. Points for screwing Tampa.

6. Was once traded for Jason Bay!

7. Still not allowed in parts of Boston.

8. Cooperstown bars can use late night ladykiller.

9. Who cares? The Hall is a sham anyway without Roger Maris* being in.

10. The fukker could hit.

*By the way, this should be our 2011 campaign theme.

John's Takeaway Points from Horrible Day

Seriously, I don't want to be negative... but who DIDN'T see this coming?

John's take:

1. Robbie Cano has picked up right where he left off, and that's good news for Yankee fans!

2. It's a long season, and it's way too soon to count out anybody, but the Yankees have to get Phil Hughes straightened out.

3. Bartolo Colon really has to be smiling. And when he's smiling, he makes everybody happy. He could mean a lot to this Yankee team!

4. It's a long season, and it's way too soon to worry, but the Yankees have to figure out a lefthander in the bullpen. 

5. The Hebrew Home at Riverside is really nice. The rooms are like a luxury hotel. The social life is like an ocean cruise.

Value Forecast On Phil Hughes, Boone Logan and Bartolo Colon

Another highly touted Yankee pitching prospect bites the dust, and two more re-tread bums prove their bumness.

A few questions for Cashman:

Is it possible we would be better off having Raphael Santana on the DL than a healthy Phil Hughes?

Do we all now know why a former number one pick of the Phillies, known as "Boone" to his friends and fellow rodents, was traded as soon as the Phillies saw him face a lefty batter in an important situation?

Is there a reason beyond the obvious why Bartolo Colon has been out of baseball for two years until the Yankees found him? Who would hire a pitcher named after a path to an asshole?

How many of you believe, as I do, that we have now opened the flood gates for an 18-0 Boston run?

Why must our real players suffer humiliations in Boston while our frauds are in the showers?

These crap pitchers remind me of America's investment bankers and hedge fun gurus:

They are paid outrageous sums for failure, suffer no consequence whatsoever, and then land a cushy job in Washington. And of course, it is the innocent fans ( or citizens ) who pay for their failures.

At a minimum, Phil Hughes should, beginning tomorrow, be selling wieners in Trenton with Kei Igawa.

By the way, if the Government shuts down tonight let's shut down this series with Boston, too.

Today, what does Hughes rhyme with?

Booze.
Bad news.
Boos.
Lose.

10 Reasons Why I Have a Really Bad Feeling About This Weekend Series in Boston

1. After all its recent suffering, Japan didn't need to have us break their secondbaseman's femur.


2. Phil Hughes' fastball now entering Javier Vazquez territory.

3. If Rafael Soriano can't handle a 4-run lead at home...

4. The Redsocks have partnered with LeBron James -- until now, a Yankee fan.

5. Alfredo Aceves.

6. We have one lefty in the bullpen, and he walks the leadoff batter.

7. We seem to only score on homers.

8. Swish feels bad about hurting Twins 2B.

9. Yankees should have signed John Lackey when I told them to.

10. Redsocks can't go 0-162.

John's Takeaway Points from Today's Big Yankee Win*

1. What's really great is that the Yankees showed they can play A-B-C baseball: Getting Brett Gardner on with a walk, stealing a base, being moved to third and then scoring on a sacrifice fly. That's good baseball!

2. What's far more important than the win is the fact that AJ pitched well!

3. What's far more significant than the fact that the Redsocks are 0-6 is the fact that they were swept by Cleveland!

4. It was really a great homestand, overall, aside from the mishap.

*Every Yankee win is a big Yankee win

A New THUH. Four.

Notice the slight change in timber. We're starting to get somewhere.

I Hate To Say, "I Told You So," But......

This is our new $31 million man.

If you remember a key, earlier post from Tampa ( ground zero ), I said it worried me that our new semi-closer, Soriano, was refusing to pitch spring training games against division foes.

Noting that this wasn't high school, and that he had faced all of those foes four years running as a member of the Rays, I thought he must be a " nut case."

We have now seen the first of his antics.

Next step; he'll punch out the father of his wife or girlfriend after blowing a 4 run lead and face felony charges.

OPEN LETTER TO YANKIVERSE: By ignoring "IIH Curse" and voting Mark Teixeira March Yankee Employee of the Month, you have put the season in jeopardy

OPEN LETTER TO THE YANKIVERSE:

Dear Madam or Sir,

Thank you, sooooooo much.

You can see where this is going, can't you? We're heading to Boston, big weekend series, where the '27 Yankees will be waiting for us, winless, while Mark Teixeira will have hit a home run in every game played... and now he carries the spiked yoke of the IT IS HIGH Curse around his neck.

Thank you, Yankiverse.

That's all I want to say. Thank you, soooooooooooo much.

You know, one vote -- ONE STINKING CRAPOLA VOTE -- would have given the award to Kevin Long, who could then tweak a gonad and not cost us one at-bat. But no. You voted Mark. You wanted to send a Text message to the juju gods, saying, "Try this on for size." Now, our guy batting third is lugging a 300-pound invisible Vanna White on his back.

Thank you, Yankiverse. O, yea, you should be proud.

Let's Check In On Twitter, Shall We?

Read more >>

Solid Sterling Scholarship

New York magazine's Joe DeLessio makes an important contribution to our understanding of The Voice.

Jose Veras or Rafael Soriano: Can you take the test?

Soriano or Veras?

Answer: Veras.

Soriano or Veras?

Answer: Veras

Veras or Soriano?

Answer: Soriano,

Last Night's Game

Is this what we are "in for" this season?

We score 4 runs early, then go home?

The Yankees have done that now two games in a row.

And our mighty offense may prove to be more rotten onions than sirloin steak.

Are we already getting heady about our ability to overwhelm teams with power?

Before yesterday's disaster, some talking head said this Yankee team "is currently on pace for 1224 HRs this season."

This brain-dead comment, by the way, is just as logical as saying that the Red Sox are currently on pace for a 0-162 season. Seriously, someone pays idiots to come up with such misleading and meaningless blather?

Seven innings of shut-out ball from our starter trashed by our new $31 million man. Or have I understated his premium?

And Boone Logan unable to throw strikes. What a surprise.

Here's the news; this Yankee team cannot squander games like this and get into the playoffs.

Now the Twins believe they have broken the curse. They believe they can beat us. And the Twins have always provided the Yankees with a huge margin of W's to offset losses to Texas and Boston. We have just put that crucial string of W's into jeopardy.

Mark my words; last night's collapse was much more than a 5-4 loss in ten innings. This was symbolic.

If my earlier predictions about the Yankees in 2011 prove correct, last night's stinker will prove to be the pivotal game of the season.

As Yogi used to say, " it got late early."

Mark my words.

Which One Do I Believe?

The Jorge who banged out two, 2-run homers or the Jorge who fanned twice, hit into a double play and mightily contributed to our non-comeback offense?

John's Takeaway Points from last night

1. When it works, it looks great, but now and then it doesn't work, and bringing in Soriano did not work.

2. It's tough to win games. C.C. pitched great and deserved the win, but he gets nothing to show for it. In a talk with Bert Blyleven last year, it became clear how so many great pitchers should be in the Hall of Fame. They're not in the Hall because they didn't have enough wins. That's wrong. It's tough to get wins.

3. You can't figure out baseball. The unexpected happens all the time. But you know, if you walk three guys in an inning, something is going to happen.

4. All these people in the media, himself included, have to talk. That's the way it is. They're paid to write. They're paid to talk. But it's really too early to say anything. Still, the emotional temperature that is surrounding every at bat cannot continue. It just can't go on.

5. If you're going to walk Denard Span to leadoff the 10th inning of a game, you gotta figure you're going to lose. It doesn't mean you will lose, but you gotta figure you will.

6. One run is enough to beat you. That's all it takes. One run. It'll beat you. One run.

7. This is one of those games where, if you lose the pennant by one, you say, "Hey, remember that game?"

8. You gotta get the outs. There's no way around it. You gotta get the outs. Yankees didn't get the outs. It's that simple. You gotta get the outs. You don't win if you don't get the outs.

9. It's really too bad for C.C.

"ANDRUW JONES MAKES HIS BONES!"

Did John write a special call of Andruw's first Yankee home run? Or will that be his call for Andruw's entire Yankee career?

Either way,  John is on fire this year.

Kei Igawa, after years of toiling, wins promotion to Trenton

Congrats today to Kei Igawa, the Irabooboo, for getting the call that every prospect dreams about. After four years of setting records in the Anthracite Capital of the World, the K is moving up to Double A Trenton.

This must be an exciting time for him, and we'll be watching his performance with the Trent Lot, as he chases an uprecendented 4th IT IS HIGH Yankee Employee of the Month award.

Charleston, next?

Pete Abe rallies the Redsock Nation with a new drream

They're not the '27 Yankees. They're the '98 Yankees.

How did we let this guy get away?

THREE THUHS

The THUH Project continues.

It doesn't get any better than this.

Lowest turnout for an opening series in the entire history of the new Yankee Stadium

Should we be worried that nobody came? Hard to say. It was, after all, in a blizzard.

I once attended an opening day at Yankee Stadium in a sleet storm, with the wind-chill hovering around 20. We pleaded with the authorities to call it. We almost lost limbs. It ended in the bottom of the ninth with our winning run on second base and Steve Sax at bat. We went crazy cheering for him. He struck out on three pitches.

Meanwhile... tonight it's Nova.

And not the one in the Big East.

Of all the early season starts, this one's most important.

A good outing by Ivan Nova puts us a good place. A bad one... and Kevin Millwood better be getting ready.

Sunday Muddy Sunday: Mets abuse another Yankee pitcher; Crawford bats seventh; Tigers channel Charlie Sheen

They happen in threes, don't they?

1. The Mets yesterday finally abused a pitcher that wasn't a Met. They clobbered Javier Vazquez, the Yankee Buckner, the man with the 87-mph heat and proven ability to piss away an entire World Series. The Marlins are paying him $7 million to put a whammy on their team this year. Good luck, Miami.

2. Carl Crawford was dropped to 7th in the '27 Redsocks all-time greatest team ever lineup, now looking for a 159-3 season. This would merely signify the incredible strength of their batting order, except Jed Lowrie batted sixth.

3. Both Charlie Sheen and the Tigers got pummeled Saturday while wearing the same jersey. His truth torpedo tour comes to New York Friday. Can we put him in a Mets shirt? 

Letter To The NY Times

My old teammate Lyn Lary passed this along

Meanwhile, here was a letter to the editor published in the Times’ sports page today:
“The Cincinnati Reds, as the oldest and first professional baseball franchise, earned the honor of opening the season every year—that is until recently. That was considered part of baseball traditions.
Sadly, the Yankees have managed to steal even this tradition just as they have been able to erode every other, likely because of their disproportionate wealth and influence. Baseball is doomed to mediocrity and will not flourish unless it finds a way to level the playing field and eliminate the influence that bigger markets have over the smaller ones.”
It’s signed by some stumblebum named Steve Shane, from Newport, KY, who apparently hasn’t noticed that the old tradition of letting the Reds open first has been gone for at least ten years, and that its demise has nothing to do with the Yankees, but is the brainstorm of the great Bud Selig, former small-market owner. (Never mind the logic of how baseball won’t be “mediocre” if all the teams are even, and how this guy feels his Reds don’t have a chance even though they finished first last year.)
Out of all the letters the Times sports page must get every week, why print an obvious lie and leave it to stand unchallenged? Why do you think? Somehow, I’m betting that if this idjit had made some wild accusation against the Red Sox, this never would’ve seen the light of day.

Google maps helped me track down a possible Steve Shane. Looks like he's stumbling like Lyn suggested

No THUH today... but John was on fire anyway

John's takeaway points from the game

1. Major leaguers understand that you lose games. That's the way it is. The media, on the other hand, is always jumping to conclusions. But you are going to lose games. That's the way it is.

2. If the Yankee hitters keep this up, they could score 1,000 runs this year. Incredible!

3. Nobody on the Yankee staff is worried about Phil Hughes. Do you think the Redsocks will pull John Lester out of their rotation because he had a bad start? Of course not! Nobody on the Yankees is worried about Phil.

4. It's early. Major League teams don't look at winning one game. They look at winning the series.The Yankees have taken their first series. If you had told the Yankees they were going to win the series, they would have been happy.

Fill It Up Phil

There'll be a lot more going out of the park if Phil can't find his heat.

Haha. Mets pulled fast one by destroying Feliciano

The Queenies are cackling today over how they used up Pedro Feliciano's arm over the last two years, by pitching him every 15 minutes, (which saved them 15 percent on car insurance.) Brian Cashman yesterday said the Welcome Mats went Scott Proctor on the poor guy. Tee-hee, say the Mats.

"I feel badly that someone feels that way," he told New York-area reporters before Saturday night's game at Florida. "That was part of the reason we decided to not re-sign him," [Mets pitching coach Dan Warthen said.] Because we knew we had used him 270-some times in the last three years."


"They didn't know that when they signed him?" 

In another interview, Warthen used the rape defense: Why... if he did't want to pitch on a given night, all he had to do was say, no.
 
Baseball players are like pet dogs. Throw the stick, and they fetch it. But you're not supposed to throw it into an icy river. Yeah, the Yankees should have done diligence on the guy. As Alphonso has noted, we have a blind spot about bullpen lefties. (Graeham Lloyd, where are you?) But the Mats, rationalizing the abuse of their former pitcher, sound like Bernie Madoff saying his investors should have known better.

Yankee Record Since Launching of THUH Project

Two THUHs.

No losses.

Just sayin'.

TWO GAMES... TWO THUHS

The THUH Project Continues...

Every time the Yankees win, John Sterling sings his melodic WinWarble unto the Yankee Radio Network.

The key to that marvelous phrase is the elongated "THUH."

This year, we will collect each of the Thuhs and present them to you... as a gift from IT IS HIGH.

The THUH Collection.

John's Warble: 5:21 seconds

Tepid, if you ask me.

"RUSSELL HAS MUSCLE!"

That's John's concise, excellent, apparently-not-at-all-Broadway-related home run call for Russell Martin!


UPDATE: Now John is porn-talkin' about something called The Vaseline Men Keep-Your-Grip Challenge. He is having an incredible day.

Why Curtis Granderson Is Kind Of Grandish

Nomaas Nomaas?

Nomaas? NOMAAS? NOOOOOOOOO.

WTF?

Please... Maas.

'27 Redsocks undefeated season dream ends

I love the Redsock Nacion after a loss. They do the work for you.

Rare graphic representation of John's THUH from yesterday (NSFW)

This is what a THUH looks like.

That's one hellovah THUH.

It measured 1.62 seconds

You can tell John was excited.

To hear it, check out The THUH Project.

Our second donation to the National Portrait Gallery at the Smithsonian Institution: Our commissioner, Bud Selig

Our commissioner, Allan Huber "Bud" Selig.

(Click portrait to enlarge)

(Note to the Smithsonian guys: Just let us know when we can set up delivery!)

Day One

The Yanks won according to the formula yesterday.

But one element of the formula didn't click.

Jorge was 0-4 with a strikeout.

C'mon Jorge. We need a .300 DH with power.

We'll see what tomorrow brings, eh?

'27 Redsocks to open season with hard liquor for happy fans

The frozen head of Ted Williams is smiling today! When the fabled Murderer's Hose of Cameron & Scutero takes the home field next week, Ted's faithful Boston tipplers -- and their free-swingin' livers -- will be enjoying a special family treat: All that hard liquor they've been denied in past pennant quests.

The team wants permssion from Sin City itself to sell Bosocks booze, leading the way for what everyone knows is coming.

But alcohol and Fenway fans have not always mixed well. In 2005, after a four-year period during which the Red Sox added sixteen stands where beer is sold, a surge in complaints about inebriated fans and a scuffle between a fan and Yankees leftfielder Gary Sheffield prompted the team to nearly double its staff of alcohol compliance supervisors.


Yes, in the name of Victoria Snelgrove, delighted Bostonians will soon be "Schilling swilling" to their hearts' content, "We Wanna Sip, We Wanna Sip..."

The Greatest Team is Baseball History opens its season today. Sports Illustrated predicts they'll win the AL East by 8 games, with Jon Lester winning Cy Young and Carl Crawford as MVP.

It's going to be fun.