Yankeetorial: Our 25th Man on the Roster

An open letter to Joe Torre...

The world wants to know: Who will be your 25th man on the playoff roster?

Brian Bruney? Sean Henn? Chris Britton? Bronson Sardinha?

We say, NONE OF THE ABOVE.

Face it: If we must pitch any of those three bozos, it's, "Game over. The Indians win, Thuuuuh Indians win." And Sardinha? His only ability is to run faster than Liz Taylor (unless she's got an open lane to a Teamster.)

MAKE THE 25TH MAN STAND FOR SOMETHING...

SUCH AS...

UNBRIDLED, OVERWHELMING GEOPOLITICAL FEAR.

MAKE IT RUDY.

With Rudy in the dugout, the Yankees will have...

1. A man willing to use a needlenose plier to yank out any opposing player's fingernail to learn if the "steal" is on.

2. A man unafraid to bring his wife into the Cleveland meat fray, knowing she can have any of the 20something Indian mancakes -- and might just do so -- to soften his bat for Yankee conquest.

3. A man who in the case of a terrorist attack, God forbid, can yell at people, stare into a camera and get the cleanup crews in and out before the melanomas turn bluish-black.

RUDY IN '07!
RUDY FOR 25TH YANKEE!