For A-Rod in the poetry corner: Let's Try This

IF THEY WANT TO PLAY THAT WAY

Befoul their dugout.
Melt all their ice.
Pee in their water.
Unleash the lice.

Wiretap their phones.
Grease up their bats.
Poison their food.
Unleash the rats.

Turn off their showers.
Plug their commodes.
Seduce their wives.
Unleash the toads.

Unleash the locusts.
Go on the attack.
Unleash your bats.
Or don't come back.