BELIEVES INDIA NEW HOT BED FOR BASEBALL.
Dateline; Mexico City. May 14th, 2008. 4:10am EST.
This wire service interview arrived at our desk from an AP feed and was misplaced for several days.
AP: Is Alphonso your first name or last name, Mr. Ambassador?
Alphonso: Yes sir. This is my first interview.
AP: So what, exactly, is IIHIIFIIc and under what authority do you represent the New York Yankees?
Alphonso: IIHIIFIIc is the 83 most popular Yankee website/blogsite in America, and we are rapidly developing.
Our founding fathers, similar in many respects to those of America and of the Yankees, have code names ( all Yankees ) to protect them from alienated and hateful Red Sox people.
But we owe our success and livelihoods to the body of work of Mr. John Sterling, " radio voice of the New York Yankees ."
AP: What is your mission in India and, frankly, why you?
Alphonso: Our mission is to find solid starting pitching. It is rumored that there are many lefties in India. What was the second part of your question?
AP: Why you?
Alphonso: Two reasons: I love cows. I am very diplomatic. I found Edwar for the NYY in the South Mexico Independent League. And my Visa renewal application to Mexico seems to have encountered some resistance from the authorities there.
AP: I didn't know they played baseball in India. They can't use cowhide on baseballs, you know.
Alphonso: The Yankees just signed two prospects from China.
AP: And???
Alphonso: We want to be in on the ground floor.
AP: Do you know anything about cricket?
Alphonso : Edwar and I used to roast and eat them in Mexico. There is a lot of protein.
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