The truth is; he is sitting by a pool while some guy in a red jacket brings him rum swizzles with vacation names like: fire fox fizz, or lemon lift off.
He wants me to apologize for ripping the Hinske trade. We are 1-4 with Hinske in the line-up. He so badly mis-read a lollipop to right field the other day, he almost didn't get to it.
And our real talent, Ramiro Pena, now languishes in foot-long meatball hero hell, learning how to play a position that Nick Swisher plays.
He will be traded with AJ, Cervelli, and Jesus for a 42nd round draft pick of the Twins. And then become an all star.
Hinske will next season become a greeter at some Italian restaurant upstate named "Vesuvius."
Have a drink for me, El Duque. Have a "blue tickler moon slobber" with your crab salad.
So drink up, Duque, and don't forget to take two aspirin before your first umbrella drink of the day.