I Heard It On Lou Dobbs

I’ve heard a killer asteroid
Is waiting out in space.
I’ve heard that global warming
Will destroy the human race.
I’ve heard the bird flu virus
Could turn cities into mobs.
But I will not believe it
‘Till I hear it from Lou Dobbs.

I’ve heard the Midwest climate
Soon could be too hot for grain.
I’ve heard use of cell phones
Can cause cancer of the brain.
I’ve heard the next depression
Will cost everyone their jobs,
But I will not believe it
‘Till I hear it from Lou Dobbs.

I’ve heard Lou Dobbs is angry
That illegals get on through,
I’ve heard Lou Dobbs has written up
A plan to stop the flu,
I’ve heard Lou Dobbs is fighting
For us losers and us slobs,
And this I do believe,
Because I heard it from Lou Dobbs.