LIVE YANKEE IN-GAME CHAT: TONIGHT AT 7:45

LIVE YANKEE IN-GAME CHAT: TONIGHT AT 7:45

Monday, July 20, 2009

From his Cialis haze, John Henry is Twittering mirthy, madcap humor

Taking a break from pawing his 30-year-old wife -- whose secret to happiness is the phrase "Close your eyes and think of Ben Affleck," -- the 60-year-old Boston billionaire owner yesterday tweated some hilarious stuf -- (via Honest Abe) unto the Nation.

"News from Yankees’ Universe. Big upsurge in membership. Apparently coming mostly from Pluto. Not doing nearly as well on Mars."

...?

...?

Well... we can only say...

Well done, Scrappy!

That's one rollickin' funny joke you just told. Pluto! Mars! Universe! We get it. We get it. They don't write 'em like that anymore. Send it to Readers Digest. Is Charlie Callas still around?

Ponce, we sure see how you nab the hotties: With the gift the laughter... the elixir of youth... shot like a lazer, from your Viagra bottle into their teenybopper hearts.

Hey, pops, here's one; maybe you can work it into your act.

"I hear the Yankees held Old-Timers Day yesterday! None of the wives came. They... hahahaaha... they were... hahaa... attending middle school!"

3 comments:

SUPERFRANKENSTEIN said...

"News from Red Sox Nation. Big upsurge in membership. Apparently coming mostly from Lolitaville. Not doing nearly as well in Fucktown."

BernBabyBern said...

"News from John Henry household: Big upsurge in membership a few months back. Household size doubled from one to two. Apparently made up of women waiting and praying for JH to die so they get control of bank account. Not doing nearly as well with non-golddiggers."

jonh said...

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