Question to Yankiverse: Do we play today?

Sorry to be a tad behind on details. You know, people in old, upstate New York bars at 2:20 p.m. can tell sad, sad, crazy sad tales.

I need a game. I gotta believe we have one. Soon. Today? Haven't lost since I started the binge, and with the help of old stallwarts, plan on a long, pennant-hanging march to October, or whatever they call it, but this ignores the thrust of my original post, which is to inquire, ask, openly wonder who we play tonight?

And whether we play. If we don't, there will be no score.

Am I repeating myself? Shouldn't have smoked the rug. Did I hallucinate that Kei Igawa broke the record at Scranton? It's been tough since we switched from meth to lead-based paint chips -- bumpy ride, there -- but I'm ready for GameDay animation.

Where the hell has Alphonso been?

The Warbletron is out of action until Sunday. I can't process statistical data. Verbal, si; mathematics, no. John has been unleashing some warbling Springsteentonian masterpieces: I estimate 6.00 to 6.80 seconds... I haven't heard a 7.00. He's saving them.

For the Redsocks.

Who BLINKED! That's right, the Redsocks blinked and traded with Pittsburgh. It's bad enough that we blinked and traded with Pittsburgh, which is sort of like eating cold poridge with chopsticks, but then they blinked and traded with Pittsburgh. That's worse than us originally blinking and trading with Pittsburgh. Hah!

Do we play tonight?

Am I dreaming that we're in first?

'Cause if I am... DON'T WAKE ME! mitre!