Open letter to Brian Cashman: Free the Phantom of Scranton

Dear Madam or Sir,

As you know, Kei Igawa won last night. He's now officially the greatest, all-time winningest starting pitcher ever to don the famed Scranton-Wilkes Barre ballcap and wade the mystical marshes of Moosic into mortal combat for the Yank youth corps of Coal City.

Kei went seven, gave up four hits, no runs. He did this on the same night that Sergio Mitre officially displaced him as the scrapheap 20something hobo/hero who will get the call for the rest of the season, if and when any of our starters go down. (Actually, Mitre might be one of our starters, but don't get in my way, Cash: I'm on a roll here, and this is no time for detail nerds.)

I've told you this before, and apparently, I'll be saying it two more years, but if Kei Igawa were a pet dog, we'd put him to sleep. It's time to trade him -- somehow. We can't blame the guy for being overpaid. (Hell, wanna know somebody's who's overpaid? Alphonso... for completely being wrong about Hinskey!) Somebody's gotta be willing to take a flier on Igawa. How about the Minnesota Twins! The Brewers? The Royals? The midwest is pretty much Triple A anyway.

It's now clear that the Redsocks squandered more money on Dice-K than we did on Price-Kei. Don't matter. It's time to move Igawa somewhere, anywhere -- it'll take creative financing, because nobody wants to eat the contract -- but MLB needs to know if he can really pitch.

And really... the guy has proven to be a trooper at Scranton.

By the way, MLB also needs to know if Shelley Duncan can hit 30.

We'll never give either a chance.

Cash, we're in first. I can't complain about much. But the trade deadline is coming fast. During breaks in the Halladay marathon, do the right thing... free these guys. Save them from the coal mine.