Where Has Our Offense Gone ?

I interviewed Governor Sanford, recently, on a topic he was willing to discuss.

"  I don't want to be questioned anymore about subjects I have to regularly lie about," he said. " That eliminates any discussion of: sexuality, corruption, narrow-mindedness, concern for the people of the country, health care, honoring the US Constitution, deceit, payoffs from lobbyists, and women's rights to do anything.

Me: Fine.  Let's talk about the Yankees, then.  And I don't mean the guys in the blue uniforms who had to come down here and trash your town in 1865.

" Great," said the Governor, " I was listening to the games on my portable while hiking on the Appalachian Trail.  It was a great comfort, in the darkest nights, listening to John and Suzyn.   Almost a spiritual experience, similar to when I saw Jesus hit a home run on a piece of toast.

Me:  So what do you think of this offensive drought at the stadium, where the Yankees can only put up 2 runs and 4-5 hits a game?

Governor:  "  I think you have to have faith.  When the people you count on don't come through when you need them, you have to pray for great pitching and defense."

Me:  Do you believe home runs are a matter of faith?

Governor:  On "C" Street in Washington, we have a family of radical evangelical Senators and Co-Conspirators who sit around in a circle and look for Biblical explanations for that.

Me:  No offense, governor, but that little hidden family of religious ( how should I say this ?) NUTS , sitting around in a circle doing God only knows what, seems contrary to a core provision of this country

 called, " separation of Church and State." 

 Any comment?

Governor;  You'll have to ask Jesus about that.  

Me:  Just to be clear;  you mean I have to go to Trenton and ask for an interview?