Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Yankees, Redsocks, cave in to jealous, angry God of Old Testament


Well, excuse me... and Amen.

I mistakenly thought MLB had a pair. Then this ascendith from the religious wires:

"ESPN and Major League Baseball have agreed to switch the starting time of a
Yankees-Red Sox game to avoid conflicting with Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar."

WTF?

I guess Selig's namby-pamby drip-dry diaper dorks -- those Ivy League cash-for-clunker types who couldn't spread the swine flu in a Chinese whorehouse -- drop their loads every time some bearded Sunday school pork-refuser shakes his magic beads and reads a few fiery words from the latest Judy Blume book. The rest of us have to miss a Sunday night game so they can wear beanies, eat dry crackers and watch "Schindler's List" for the 50th time.

"ESPN told The Associated Press on Tuesday that the Sept. 27 game was returning to its original start time of 1 p.m. EDT. It had been changed to 8 p.m. to accommodate ESPN's schedule; Yom Kippur, a day of fasting and atonement, begins at sundown that evening."

Fasting and atonement.

Did they replace Mystique and Aura on Curt Schilling's lapdance wish list?

15 comments:

Kenny Phelps said...

Maybe ESPN finally looked at the standings and figured out no one would care about a Yankee Boston game when the Yanks already have the division locked up. This is just their excuse to go with another game.

Yahweh said...

Whoever posted this should be crucified.

The Rashblog said...

As a Jewish Yankees fan, I am very happy by this decision.

Stang said...

Duque, you Upstater, in case you didn't know: at least several Jews live in NYC. Maybe this means that ESPN is finally moving its chips from BOS to NYY. FINALLY.

Anonymous said...

Happy Yom Kippur Jews.

Anonymous said...

Trust me...I would rather be at a baseball game then at synagogue fasting for 24 hours. However, thankfully MLB & ESPN did what was right and moved the game back to the original time.

Whitey Schadenfraudenstein said...

Dukie revealed himself to be the DUMB GOY that he is.

'NUFF SAID!

Anonymous said...

I've always thought this site was hysterical and right on..I've passed it along to everyone I know. I'll never read it again, now that I know whatever the F his name is is just a typical hillbilly lowlife who's probably never even held a baseball, let alone gotten laid

God of Nefertitty said...

Dear Anon,

Read the Bible or the Torah or the Quaran.

And you will know that baseball trumps religion every time, or should.

If you don't want to eat. Don't eat.

If you want to never laugh again, read your religious texts.

Baseball here is religion times two.

MattG said...

This move makes perfect sense.
If the Pope is gonna be instructing his minyons on how to pray for the Redsocks, then we need all the Jews offering up prayers for the Yankees.

Whitey Fraud said...

El Douchebag should resign for this anti-semiotic post.

Despite being an inbred upstater, he surely must have come in contact with a few Hebrews, eaten a bagel, bought something wholesale or watched Seinfeld.

There's just no excuse for this blatant bigamy.

Suicide would be preferable but this is beyond the pail.

Do the right thing for once, schmuck.

And hailing maria won't cut it, foreskin-face!

Anonymous said...

Duque, you missed the most important part. If the game were to be played at 8 PM, the power couple of radio would be separated. Since the game will be at 1, John won't suffer the burden of broadcasting by himself, or with a subpar special guest color commentator.

Mel Gibson said...

That went over like דרעק in a punchbowl.

el duque said...

Well, we pissed off the Pope, and now we've alienated the Jews. Anybody know how to draw cartoons of Mohammed?

Ron "Boomer" Blomberg said...

shtup them if they can't take a joke. Don Rickles would be proud.