Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Five Keys to the Series with Texas

1. Hitting. Without any, we'll face a no-hitter. Don't want that.

2. Pitching. Ninety percent of the game, say the experts. That's good enough for me.

3. Fielding. There's a reason why they're called "errors." They're bad.

4. Base-running. If we don't run the bases, we won't score. It's that simple.

5. Celebrities. If this is George W. Bush v. Rudy Giuliani, we lose. We need Cameron. We need Minka. We need Lady Gaga, Tia Leoni, and that Nanny lady, if she's still hot. Jay-Z, bring Beyonce. 50 Cent, bring that crazy Chelsea Handler chick. Put the Bombers on display.

4 comments:

Joe De Pastry said...

After CC and Andy in the first 2 games, pitch AJ in the 3d game, against Lee, because we're probably going to lose that one anyway. Use CC on short rest in game 4. Hughes in game 5. Andy in the if necessary game 6. CC on short rest again in the I hope we don't have to play it game 7 against Lee.

Bye Bye Balboni said...

That is EXACTLY what I was thinking. We must be long lost relatives or something. I'll have to go to the library and check out the microfilm of old society pages for any De Pastry/Balboni weddings.

Joe De Pastry said...

Great minds think alike.
Maybe we're both descendants of Columbus and Marconi.
They shouldn't have announced AJ was pitching a particular game until they found out who we'd be facing. The TB Rays of St Petersburg have no one like Lee. I have no fear of Price.

Bye Bye Balboni said...

Maybe they're pulling a double switch - waiting for the Bush Rangers to commit to a game 4 pitcher, then surprising us all and starting Nick Swisher, he of 0.00 ERA fame.