10 Reasons Roger Clemens is ready to launch a comeback

1. He read somewhere that today's Redsocks pitchers get free fried chicken.

2. Hopes to show Dancing With the Stars he's in shape.

3. Mindy's pool needs a new liner.

4. Newark Bears rumored to seek a manager.

5. New energy pills have him feeling younger than ever!

6. One more NY Post back page, and he'll beat Mike Tyson.

7. Watched all the walks in the World Series and said, "Hell, I can do that!"

8. These punk kids today, they don't know what it's like to take a beanball.

9. Snarky membership letter from AARP burned his butt.

10. Two words: Bartolo. Colon.