Every team in baseball should be allowed to have a homer at the microphone... except the Yankees.
Seriously. Have you ever listened to Hawk Harrelson call Whitesox games? Or the Redsock broadcast crew? Yes, John is lopsided in his analyses; in his old age, he's turning something sort of Kinerish, (maybe even McCarverish.)
But listen: One of these days, all these Yankee fans who want a "real pro" in the booth will wake up to hear ESPN's Nomar Garciaparra and Curt Schilling describing the Hebrew Home at Riverside - ("I tell you, it's like a college campus, Nomar; my sock was bleeding from all the walking on the quad!") -- and when the Yankees lose 10-2, rather than measuring nearby bridges like the rest of us, they'll be spitting phlegm with excitment about this big breakout game by the Kansas City lineup, which secured the victory - and you can keep your family safe and secure...
Every Yankee fan in creation knows what just happened when John shouts, "Low ball four, but he called it a strike!" Yeah, it grinds on the sportswriters and bigtime pro bloggers, who feel compelled to make their bones as "impartial observers." They're never supposed to root in the press box; it's the 1st Commandment of their profession. Fine. But the rest of us - the unwashed know-nothings - don't have to sign on. We can cheer.
Randy Newman once said of Lester Maddox, "He may be a fool but he's our fool." Poll the masses? Fine. Just remember this: A kiss is still a kiss. No! That's not it. These polls are quirky. It's like the ones that endorse or reject Obama. You can hate what you hear, but you better consider the alternatives.
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5 comments:
I prefer my Yankee blogs, like my Yankee radio announcers, with a dollop of humor. Anyone who treats sports as seriously as 'some people' do is suspect of some kind of learning disability. Or perhaps, perspective disability. Or maybe they're just kind of dorky.
An e-friend of mine who sporadically is in the pressbox in Fenway likes to comment on the tiny fist pumps he witnesses in favor of the Red Sox.
If you aren't biased about sports, you probably don't care. Teamless individuals who truly care deeply about a professional sport are exceedingly rare.
John's problem is he's not enough of a homer. He spends all his time bitching about stranded runners, walking the first hitter, etc. If you really listen to him, you'd think they were the worst team in the world.
I'll bet your Bostonian friend has a cache of naked Phil Hughes pictures.
John is the Master! That is all!
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