Madonna: A-Rod had me lying on a horse

Yesterday, steroidal NFL halftime supercrone Madonna - in a media banter worthy of Newt Gingrich's ideal for future unmoderated Lincoln-Douglas debates with Barack Obama - was questioned about her mirror-loving former third-sacker, A-Rod, who batted a meager .240 during the hell-summer of her dark courtship.

According to Benjamin Hoffman of the Times, the famous Material Girl responded with the usual oh-so-fetching, arms-of-steel appeal:

She could not confirm the reports that the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez has a painting of himself as a centaur, saying she had never seen it, but she said she was fairly certain that the baseball star, whom she was romantically linked to in the news media, does have a large photograph of her lying on a horse.

A large photograph of her lying on a horse.

Well, I don't know about you, or the lost cabbage-eating people of Iran, but I wish Mr. Benjamin Hoffman refrained from sharing that image with the free world.

Lying on a horse.

I searched "lying on a horse" in Google Images.

Madonna, lying on the horse. No, that's not the image that haunts me. This is what haunts me...

There. Now it's gone.