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Kevin Baker's book is here!
"... an exemplary sports book..." Kirkus Reviews

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Iceberg ahead: Look at the Blue Jays lineup and tell me not to worry

Toronto fans - aka: the raidin' Canadi'ns - have had the kind of Christmas you'd expect of Suri Cruise: Two rich parents competing to buy you the best gifts. Eldon Bowl-a-Matic? Check. Robot Commando? Check. E-Z Bake Oven? Check. They not only got everything they wanted, they got the pony too.  They named it Melky.

Meanwhile, we gave gifts: Swisher to the homeless (Cleveland, apparently), Soriano to the fates (Boston, possibly) and A-Rod to his pro wrestler girlfriend through July. Under our tree, we found a giant bald iguana, and we named him Yuke.

Look at the Toronto lineup. LOOK, DAMMIT, DON'T TURN AWAY! You half-expect to see Winfield, Molitor and Tony Fernandez.

ss Jose Reyes (two years ago, won batting crown)
lf Anthony Gose (ascending)
rf Jose Batista (40 hr power)
dh Edwin Encarnacion (40 hr power)
cf Melky Cabrera (got juice? best cf in game!)
3b Brett Lowrie (ascending)
1b Adam Lind (30 hr power)
c JP Arencibia (20 hr power, ascending)
ss Macir Izturis  (ascending)

How do you say "Ouch" in Canadian? That leaves Colby Rasmus and Moises Sierra on the bench. Either could become a star. What's scariest is the rising talent. They are young: They'll heal after a home plate collision. They won't break an ankle stepping off the curb. Name an ascending player in our lineup. Brett Gardner? Maybe.

Now let us ponder the Toronto rotation.

RA Dickey (cy young, probably another 5 years)
Kyle Drabek (ascending)
Josh Johnson (coming back?)
Rickie Romero (solid)
Mark Buerhrle (solid)

Yeah, they have intangibles. Was Melky a juicer-Joe D? Is Johnson back? What about clubhouse chemistry? Hell, we can lob question marks at Santa. But in the name of Ivan Nova, tell me that lineup isn't for real.

We are challenging for the one-game wild card playoff. And if we look over our shoulders, we might just see Boston courting Soriano.

3 comments:

JM said...

Wasn't it the wise man, Bobby McFerrin, who once sagely advised, 'Don't worry. Be happy.'?

The philosophy of great minds can be of great solace in these troubled times. As a recent commenter said, 'Here are some insights on how to deal with problems in life so that you may achieve success and happiness. Dog Emergency 1: Traffic Accident:If possible, do not to move the dog Increase digestibility of food'.

Ah, and here we have the guiding philosophy of Brian a la Cashman: If possible, do not to move the dog; increase digestibility of food. Isn't that what he has done? The dog remains unmoved; no signings outside of current Yankees whose contracts had run out. As for the digestibility of Youk, this is for the ages to decide, not me. As the wise man Alton Brown might say, but didn't, 'What you find digestible may cause me severe stomach cramps; but perhaps if I try the same dish another day, I may find it quite colon-friendly.'

And so it is with our new 3B, KY. The slickest fielder we could afford to insert into our infield, but obviously not without some pain for certain fans and Alphonsos. If KY turns to jelly, the naysayers will be proven correct. But he may surprise many and grease our way to success.

As the aforementioned commenter noted: 'We're cheering for you (Note: I'm not talking about his favorite toys that you leave in his crate It is the natural tendency for all to move to the next level of awareness and to better themselves Make sure you compare your strengths and weaknesses with the day-to-day tasks of running the business'.

Nothing can be added to this Kirkegaardian direction. If only Hal, his brother, and Jiminy Cashman are listening.


bennyboy said...

Relax. We've got the Captain. Leadership, leadership, leadership.

Anonymous said...

Umm first of all, Gose looks foolish even thinking about off speed let alone attempting to swing and miss at it, he's ticketed for Buffalo and should spend most if not all the season there. Second, you have Lind at 1b when he's got worse foot work then my grandmother, Edwin odd as it may seem is a far, far, better defender. 3rd you mention a rotation with Drabek in it and forgot Morrow.. seriously? Kyle is slated for a full overhaul ala Doc, Its very unlikely he'd be seen in a relief roll with the big club in '13 let alone the rotation.