Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Superstars Wanted!

The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders are advertising for interns--I mean, superstars--to "get" their "feet wet" bothering people on the phone, entering data, sorting bulk mail, and gluing glitter to posters for "sales presentations." Here are some of the flawlessly excellent qualifications they're looking for, in their own words (emphasis MUSTANG!'s):
Do you want to be a superstar in sports business? That’s the first qualification. If you answered yes, then answer two more questions:
1) Do you have a strong work ethic?
and …
2) Do you have desire to learn and excel?
You should have strong communication skills (you have to like to talk to people) and a willingness to listen and learn. You also need excellent organizational skills and the ability to manage and execute various tasks flawlessly.
"If you are a true superstar," the pitch congeals, now excluding those who merely want to be superstars, "...You have the summer to wow us."

But not so fast, superstar! The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders have even more questions "you will be required to answer." If you're counting, by the time you're thinking about the one labeled #4 (below) you'll know you've already answered six. It's not clear whether pointing this out would prove your superstardom, or get you banned from the newly remodeled ballpark. Question #2 is an All-Star specimen, but #3 and #4 are Hall of Famers:
1. Are you able to commit to be in this internship from April through early September?
2. What do you feel you will gain from this internship?
3. Do you currently live in the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre metro area? If not, will you be able to relocate at your own expense?
4. Do you have a license and vehicle available for use?
If you can't answer all seven, don't despair: Syracuse.com is hiring! Wait, that can't be right.

1 comment:

el duque said...

I could do that. I have a car, anyway.