During the season, if you're lucky enough to have your number in Alphonso's phone, you might see the first of a nightly flurry of texts just as John is starting his vocal warmups in the Sunoco broadcast booth.
An evening's texts provide a steady feed of the wisdom, skepticism, disappointment, boredom, entitlement, disgust, and rage that Alphonso's readers here know well. When the opposition is up by two runs early, he surrenders; one pop-out from a Yankee rookie and he pronounces the death of a young career. When the Yankees have a comfortable lead, there is silence. Absent any reason to scold or complain, Alphonso ceases to exist until the Yankees need him again.
From today:
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11 comments:
Mustang:
Following Holliday's 3-run HR, are you now expecting silence?
"Matt has bat!"
Mustang,
You are an artist in every respect.
Expect silence, yes LBJ.
Confirming that, LBJ. There has not been a peep since before the HR.
And thanks, Fonz!
Hooray, hooray, hooray! We at least win the season series with the BoSox. You know that has to stick in their craw.
Alphonso, you are a true fan. If it doesn't hurt, then it's not irrational enough to invest any time in it.
Switched to Mets broadcast a couple times during commercials. Harvey's first-time back...and he gave up seven earned runs in two innings of work, along with eight hits and two wild pitches.
Huh. Maybe the Mets ought to consider trading him.
I seem to remember there's some general manager in the majors, some guy who's always willing to let himself be suckered into picking up a once highly rated pitcher who's now been injured and who-knows-what-you're-getting...
Who was that sucker again? Let me think—
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Also, The Oft-Hurt Hicks is hurt again. Time to give Cave or McKinney a try.
It's a HOLLADAY WEEKEND!!
By the way, everybody:
This is my world.
THESE TEXTS ARE HILARIOUS, AND HIT HOME FOR ME AS I TEXT 2 OF MY DIE HARD YANKEE FAN FRIENDS DURING EVERY GAME.
USUALLY AFTER THE YANKS GET DOWN 1-0 IN THE FIRST INNING, (WHICH HAPPENS CONSTANTLY), MY FIRST TEXT TO THEM IS "GAME OVER".
I HAVE SHORTENED IT UP LATELY, AND AFTER THAT FIRST RUN, I NOW TEXT, "GAME."
WHEN YOU SEE OUR RECORD WHEN WE DON'T SCORE FIRST, THE CASE IS OVERWHELMING THAT BOTH ALPHONSO, AND MYSELF ARE RIGHT.
.....BUT WE DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT.... WE HATE BEING RIGHT!
I ADMIT, I WANTED HOLLIDAY TO JUST GO AWAY, AND WAS SICKENED BY HIM BEING IN THE LINEUP.
THEN HE WON THE GAME FOR US TODAY...... I LOVE WHEN I'M WRONG!
WE WANT TO BE WRONG!!!
UNFORTUNATELY, WE ARE NOT WRONG ENOUGH.
I know what you mean, ALL-CAPS.
I had less animosity against Holliday than the other altercockers, because he was at least productive and seemed to be working wonders with Judge. Maybe we could bring him back as a hitting instructor, or even manager.
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