Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Domingo Done in by Flamingos! Big Maple Stands Tall in Pittsburgh.

The long-awaited return of Domingo German to the ranks of the pitching was delayed again tonight, when German crashed his Corvette Stingray into a flamingo decorations store on his way to Pittsburgh's Corporate Shill Park, in virtual baseball tonight.

German was racing to CSP for what was supposed to be his first start of the season, when he lost control of the vehicle and smashed it into a display window full of the popular if campy lawn ornaments.  The Yanks' hurler managed to evade serious injury, although responding police reported grimly that "it was a massacre," of the pink plastic, long-legged, aquatic avians.

Not to worry, though, for the streaking Yankees.  Pitcher James "Mapley Goodness" Paxton filled in ably for German, surrendering only two runs in six innings, as the Bombers bombed away to a 14-5 win.

Homering for the Bronx team were Gary Sanchez, Miguel Andujar, and Mike Ford, while D.J. "Jazzy Jeff" LeMahieu drove in five runs with two doubles and a well-placed single.

Pirates fans watched most of the game in stunned silence.

"What has it been, 41 years since we were in the World Series?" one spectator remarked, in tear.  "Our world has broken down.  Please, take us with you!"

All fans in attendance did receive a commemorative, Andy Van Slyke keychain.


Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

How typical, this turn of events. I mean, not trying to generalize here, but no good can ever come from someone with the name "German". Even though talking about this subject is not done these days (ask John Cleese), and even though I will not mention the war, I repeat, no good can come from someone called German.

Baseball in Germany never amounted to much more than American soldiers playing in a league of their own. The Wiesbaden Flyers were Germanies entry into the 1961 Haarlem Baseball Week (indeed the original Harlem in the Netherlands) - they were runners up.

It did not even help that a delegation of major league teams visited the town of Wiesbaden. A group consisting of (among others) one Jerry Coleman of the New York Yankees and none other than Stan Musial. They arrived in snow covered Hessen on February 4. Maybe not the best conditions for baseball clinics. This was in 1951.

By the way, before the Haarlem Baseball Week was dominated by Cuba, the US Amateur team and eventually Holland itself, all champions were US based. From university teams like the Arizona Wildcats to a particularly popular team the Grand Rapids Sullivans.

Back to reality.
Domingo is the living proof of nomen est omen.
Those birds seem to be monogamous. Wonder if they beat eachother up on a regular basis.

Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

By the way, thank you for describing the way fines are deferred to the city of New York. After reading the explanation I actually felt sort of stupid not coming up with that answer myself. Of course the Yankees must have all sort of hidden clauses in the agreement to build the new stadium.

I wonder who pays Gerrit's salary in the end.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Very interesting to know, Urban Farmer. Yes, outside of Italy, The Netherlands has the strongest baseball in Europe, right?

And you are quite welcome about the fines issue. Gerrit's salary incidentally, comes from a cut of every transit fare. The more we travel, the more the Steinbrenner family saves. This pandemic has been a terrible blow to them.

Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

If there would be 2 baseball teams in the USA, lets say the Arizona Wildcats and the New York Yankees, and they would play annual series against eachother -for the lack of any other competition- then the power balance would be about the same as it is between Holland and Italy.
On a lighter note, those series actually are the only ones that matter. Obviously these always take place without "American" players like Boogaerts, Gregorius, Jansen, Simmons, Profar and Schoop. To name a few.

I wish I could ride the underground for days on end to help out our owner.

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