Sunday, June 21, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Tanaka Falls Asleep on Mound but Still Wins. Yanks Know How to Treat Those Twins.

The virtual Yankees managed to best the Twins again today for their seventh straight win, despite the fact that Masahiro Tanaka grew so bored with putting away Minnesota hitters that he fell asleep on the mound in the fifth inning.

It was the first time that any Yankees had fallen asleep on the mound since Whitey Ford did so while pitching against the St. Louis Browns on August 3rd, 1953.  Ford drifted off while striking out Roy Sievers in the top of the fourth inning.  His change-up fooled Sievers anyway, en route to an 11-3 win.

Ford, in fairness, had had a rough evening out with Mickey Mantle and Billy Martin the night before. Tanaka, on the other hand admitted that he just got bored throwing breaking pitches past Miguel Sano.

"It is simply not possible to maintain concentration for very long in today's American game," Tanaka confessed afterwards. "But wait, what did you ask again?"

The final tally was 13-5, with Tanaka giving up a couple long home runs to Nelson Cruz.  The Yankees protested the fact that Cruz has now taken to shooting up PEDs openly in the dugout, but to no avail.

Meanwhile, Gleyer Torres, Miguel Andujar, Gio Urshela, and Clint Frazier joined the stacked up, Holland Tunnel-on-a-Sunday-night traffic jam of home runs for the Pinstripers.

Losing Twins starter Randy Dobnak could say only, "I think I'm gonna be sad.  I think it's today.  Yeah."


Sharon Wayne said...

I want to thank Dr Emu a very powerful spell caster who help me to bring my husband back to me, few month ago i have a serious problem with my husband, to the extend that he left the house, and he started dating another woman and he stayed with the woman, i tried all i can to bring him back, but all my effort was useless until the day my friend came to my house and i told her every thing that had happened between me and my husband, then she told me of a powerful spell caster who help her when she was in the same problem I then contact Dr Emu and told him every thing and he told me not to worry my self again that my husband will come back to me after he has cast a spell on him, i thought it was a joke, after he had finish casting the spell, he told me that he had just finish casting the spell, to my greatest surprise within 48 hours, my husband really came back begging me to forgive him, if you need his help you can contact him with via email: or add him up on his whatsapp +2347012841542 is willing to help any body that need his help.
For more details about Dr Emu visit his Website:

Isiyku Abdulahi said...

I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.