Friday, June 12, 2020

Virtual Baseball: A Royal Flush! Yanks Down KC Again, Set Sites On Beantown.

Another game against the tanking rebuilding Kansas City Royals, another win for the Virtual New York Yankees tonight.  Pitching rookie Clarke Schmidt again in order to set up their rotation for the Showdown in Beantown, the Bombers cruised to a 12-4 win.

Clint Frazier unloaded two lofty bombs on KC, while Mike Ford, Kyle Higashioka, and Thairo Estrada all added "dingers for the slingers," as acting Yankees broadcaster Clyde Frazier put it, though nobody was quite sure what he meant by that.

Frazier also refused to mince any words when asked if the Royals were truly tanking.

"Tanking?  They're tanking like septic.  They're tanking like Rommel in the desert, they're tanking like Zhukov in the Ukraine, and Patton at the Bulge.  They're tanking like the Exxon Valdez in a winter breeze.  Oh, they're tanking!"

The win moved the Yankees to just six games behind over-achieving Tampa Bay, with a record of 45-24.  The Pinstripers now journey on up to Friendly Fenway, with hopes of knocking out Boston, now wobbling far behind and barely over .500, at 35-34.

New York will be starting J.A. Happ, a well-rested Masahiro Tanaka, and, if the doctors give the okay, newly acquired wonderboy Gerrit Cole against the Carmine Hose.

Investigators from the HoStros and the BoSox will be traveling with them, still hoping to get the good on the Yanks' use of goop as a PED.

"We won't hesitate to subpoena Oprah herself if we need to," claimed high Red Sock muckety-muck Chaim Bloom.  "This is cheating, and it has to stop!"

"Wait:  so how would it work again with reducing payroll?" responded Hal Steinbrenner.

4 comments:

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Mustang said...

Hal needs to call Dr Emu

Mustang said...

Also, I'd like to remind everyone that All Star ballots are due in two weeks. I've submitted 317 for the straight Yankees ticket.

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