Saturday, June 27, 2020

Once again, The Onion leads the way

Today, holy shit, do we need a laugh or what? I got nothing, zero, zilch. I need an underground bunker. All night, even in sleepy Syracuse - (rhymes with sheer abuse) - you hear fireworks, like percussion grenades. 

So here's our best shot. The Onion.  

Thirty-two years ago in Madison, Wisconsin, it began publishing satire based on the notion that nothing is funnier than old-fashioned truth. All-time fave headline: "Rotation of Earth Throws Entire North American Continent into Darkness."

So, without further adieu... a few baseball truths, according to The Onion...

And our competitors...

And a few more...

And this.

Jubilent baseball world awaits
July 24 Opening Day 

Wait. That's not an Onion headline. That's... gulp... real? Oh, fuck.


Mustang said...

The Onion is a miracle. No other publication of its kind--Spy, National Lampoon, Mad--managed to stay truly funny for 10 years, let alone 32. My own favorite Onion headline is "Area Bassist Fellated."

Publius said...

That's a good one. But best Onion headline is in a historical pamphlet they put together, July 1969. Bold topline: "HOLY SHIT". Sub heading: "Man Walks On Moon"

Isiyku Abdulahi said...

I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.