Thursday, June 11, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Yanks, Montgomery Ward Off Royals. Investigation Begins.

In virtual baseball tonight, returning Yankees starter Jordan Montgomery pitched well enough to win his first game in over two years, as the Yanks once again pummeled the Kansas City Royals, 10-3.  The soft serves of Montgomery looked very hittable at times, but he was able to last six innings against a Royals team that intends to leave this generation of fans with only a distant memory of their championship 2015 season.

Montgomery got all the support he would need on a first-inning grand slam from revitalgooped catcher Gary Sanchez, though Gio Urshela and Clobberin' Clint Frazier added blasts of their own.  Frazier also made several outstanding catches in left field—something that only served to further incite front office executives from Houston and Boston.

The suits were in the seats to start their investigation into whether the Goops most of the Yankees now coat their bodies with daily is really a steroid of some sort.

"Just look at their pores!  Why, their faces are practically glowing!" raged Red Sox exec Chaim "Is Off the Rose" Bloom.  "Nobody gets that kind of great skin without using a PED!"

The investigators also charged that some Yankees may be receiving full-body cleanses.


ranger_lp said...

Sorry I was confused for a second...I read the title and I thought "Wow, the Royals released Montgomery Ward"...

HoraceClarke66 said...

It was indeed my intention to get the store name in there!

Sharon Wayne said...

I want to thank Dr Emu a very powerful spell caster who help me to bring my husband back to me, few month ago i have a serious problem with my husband, to the extend that he left the house, and he started dating another woman and he stayed with the woman, i tried all i can to bring him back, but all my effort was useless until the day my friend came to my house and i told her every thing that had happened between me and my husband, then she told me of a powerful spell caster who help her when she was in the same problem I then contact Dr Emu and told him every thing and he told me not to worry my self again that my husband will come back to me after he has cast a spell on him, i thought it was a joke, after he had finish casting the spell, he told me that he had just finish casting the spell, to my greatest surprise within 48 hours, my husband really came back begging me to forgive him, if you need his help you can contact him with via email: or add him up on his whatsapp +2347012841542 is willing to help any body that need his help.

Isiyku Abdulahi said...

I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.