We’re at the half way point and to say that the season isn’t going as planned is an understatement. Over the next week or so I’ll be attempting to explain why by using a number of different methods. Today… Limericks!
Starting Pitching
It seemed at the dawn of the year
That our starters were something to fear.
Cole, Rodon, Nestor, and Sevi.
Our staff was ace heavy.
Now we wish we had back JP Sears.
Gerrit Cole
Gerrit Cole is the team's only ace.
Twenty wins? He is close to the pace.
But, when he gets a bad call
the next pitch clears the wall.
You can tell by the look on his face.
--
Carlos Rodon
The deal for Rodon really sucks.
Often injured, he still got the bucks.
It made him quite rich.
Maybe one day he’ll pitch.
Our front office is run by a schmuck.
--
Nestor Cortez
Like Tiant and Bartolo Colon,
no one knew what pitch Nestor was thow’n.
Hitters no longer have doubt.
Did they figure him out?
Or was his greatness overblown?
--
Luis Severino
When not hurt Luis can pitch great.
But often, it’s not worth the wait.
Something’s always off.
What’s next? Whooping cough?
At what point do we just cut bait?
--
German and Schmidt
They’re both number fives, this is true.
Forced to pitch like they were one or two
Sure, we got a perfecto…
Also, lots of dreckto.
So, let’s see what Brito can do.
Extra Limerick!
Frankie Montas
For Frankie we gave up a ton
To land our second number one.
But are hopes are gone, oh!
He’s another Pavano.
Who throws off flat ground just for fun.
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5 comments:
Brilliant, Doug! Simply brilliant!
Probably the most embarrassing, laugh-out-loud line of the entire, embarrassing fiasco that was the movie version of "Bridges of Madison County," comes when Clint Eastwood gives his opinion of one of Ireland's greats:
"Good stuff, Yeats."
Good stuff, Doug!
And AA, no, no rant today. The Yankees didn't play.
Really, I suspect we're coming up on another one of those pleasant lulls—the sort that, every year, once again save Brian Cashman's job and secure the Yanks' another winning season.
Donaldson and Stanton will find their home-run grooves for a couple of weeks. Volpe will continue to come around. Bader will stay healthy, and Judge will come back from the DL. Who knows, maybe even Torres will wake up.
The staff will pull itself together. Sevvy will look Sevver-ocious for a few starts. Ian Hamilton will reinvigorate the pen. Who knows, maybe even Rodon will appear.
All over the media, Cashman's innumerable sycophants will start saying, 'See, we knew it all the time!' They will laud HAL for his un-Georgian patience, and chide all of us fans for not believing.
And across town, there will be the odious example of the Mets, to instruct us in what the alternative to such enlightened ownership is.
Going into September, the Yanks might even be contending for the division again. And somewhere, unadmitted, deep in our shrunken, pinstriped hearts, little, delicate green tendrils of hope will start to sprout again.
That's when the juju gods will know they have us right where they want us.
Lovely Limericks, Doug.
And this:
“And somewhere, unadmitted, deep in our shrunken, pinstriped hearts, little, delicate green tendrils of hope will start to sprout again.”
Also lovely…
What say ye, yea or nay?
The Mets are open to acquiring struggling Yankees veteran infielder Josh Donaldson if they include pitcher Ian Hamilton in the deal reports Andy Martino of SNY.
Martino claims that the Mets need bullpen help but are not willing to trade any of their top prospects at the trade deadline. Yet, instead of offering top-tier players, the team is open to acquiring another team’s expensive contract, which would allow that team to allocate its funds elsewhere.
According to Martino, the Yankees may not be looking to sell players, but they could potentially consider trading Josh Donaldson, who is owed a $21 million salary this year. This move could help the Yankees stay under the luxury tax threshold and provide flexibility for other trade opportunities.
Thanks, AA.
And Carl Weitz? No, no, no, and no!
Much as I would love to dump Donaldson, it's just not worth giving up someone who looks like a very promising part of their way overtaxed bullpen.
Yeah, I know. I'm sure Cashie thinks he has some monster, three-way deal going on. The Mets take Jackie off his hands, and then he turned around and grabs Ohtani.
We saw how that worked out last year.
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