Thursday, September 19, 2024

Holster your juju guns, everybody, the Yankees have reached their first goal of 2024.

Congrats to the great and mighty, awe-inspiring, champions of manhood, the '24 Yankees, who have clinched an AL postseason birth. 

Set juju phasers on STUN, and lock up the sacred underwear - (who's got Giambi's golden thong?) - as October comes into view. Breathe. We're in it. 


As for the Yankees, we never doubted you. Never. Not once. Here at IT IS HIGH, we always knew you were destined for goodness, if not greatness. Yes, at times, we toned down our positive rhetoric - to baffle the juju gods and reduce the chances of street violence. But we always foresaw the inevitable parade down the Canyon of Heroes, now just six weeks away, like the election.

If the playoffs began today...


As you see, we'd binge watch The Boys during Round I, then face the winner of KC-Balt. Regardless of who it is, Round II is our potential Babadook. It will require our hitters to rest for five days, then club the winners like baby seals in the arctic. Same with our bullpen. But we'd have homefield advantage, as we await...  

Houston, of course. 

Yep, in Round III - aka, the ALCS - we'll play the evil, cheating, outcome-rigging Astros. (The fact is, we WON in 2019, and everybody knows it.) Seriously, does anyone NOT expect it to be Houston? They will crumple Minnesota - (or Detroit, which is streaking) - and then beat Cleveland. 

We have a date with Lil Jose Altuve. Until the Yankees settle up with Houston, they cannot escape the dooming fog of this jinxed millennium. 

But for now, holster your juju gun. (And for God's sake, put away the pager.) The finale is coming. And we're in it.

22 comments:

Doug K. said...

Yesterday's game became what is now one of my favorite type of Yankee win.

Holmes blows a save, again proving to the world what a moron Boone is, especially after Holmes escaped the first inning and then was brought back!

Then the Yankees win anyway.

JM said...

Glad to see we won while I was sawing wood. And Rizzo, good old worthless shouldn't be playing let's get Rice back or use Oswaldo Rizzo, knocked in both runs. Holmes, of course, sucked. Well, not sucked, as much as just being mediocre, which for him is a good outing.

Boone is an idiot but Julio Rodriguez isn't far behind.

ranger_lp said...

Great win. Holmes needs to be DFA'd. For all that missed it, the weird double play in extras: https://x.com/Yankees/status/1836629125475234289

Parson Tom said...

Detroit is the one to fear ... if they get in.

Doug K. said...

Parson - I totally agree.

TheWinWarblist said...

Love weird double plays.

JM said...

Kinky! You devil, you.

BTR999 said...

Even Gleyber was like , “WTF?”

BTR999 said...

A young team, red-hot, with a dominant starter. Be afraid, be very afraid.

AboveAverage said...

Wait a second…..Boone is an idiot?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Stampeding cattle?

DickAllen said...

Booooone isn't an idiot. He's just plain stupid. He continues to have faith in Holmes as if he was Mariano. Time and time again, Holmes has proven that he can't be trusted. The Orioles dfa'd Kimbrel and the same thing should happen to Holmes. At very least Holmes needs to be dropped from the post-season roster.

AboveAverage said...

he likely won't be dropped - he's a healthy arm in the pen - so you could pitch Holmes in situations here the team is coasting, such as when we have a lead of say 6 or more runs, but please NEVER AGAIN when it matters - or, say 90% of the remaining 2024 innings

JM said...

Of course, the real problem is not having Holmes available in the pen. It's how Boone insists on using him, in close games, in late innings, where his massive inconsistencies are most harmful.

Holmes is trying and I'm sure he's working hard. But Boone is an idiot. And the way he keeps using Holmes is making the fan base hate Holmes, which he doesn't really deserve. That hatred should be focused squarely on Boone.

AboveAverage said...

So then....Boone IS an idiot?

TheWinWarblist said...

I fear no other team. What can another team do that CashBrain and Ma Boone haven't already done? I swear you could hear Suzyn do a spit take on the radio when Aroldis gave up the homer last night.

Ceeja said...

Holmes used to screw up by walking people and giving up ground balls in-between fielders. Now he has gone full wohlers. He serves up fat pitches high in the zone. He's my last option out of the pen, other than Leiter

AboveAverage said...

I’d have more faith having Cone suit up and pitch an inning….

JM said...

Cone and Mariano. I think they can still both bring it.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM, you talkin' baseball -- or with the ladies?

JM said...

Could be both, Rufus.

JM said...

The Orioles won this afternoon. Damn, I want to pile up those Games Behind.