Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Yankeetorial: Rooting for America


In this turbulent time, there is only one true hope for America.

It is not victory in Iraq. It is not the iPhone. It is not Paris Hilton.

It is Derek Jeter.

We speak today not as Yankee fans but patriots. Throughout world history, one truth stands firm:

In times of peace and prosperity, the Yankees succeed.
In times of war and pestilence, the Yankees flounder.

With 26 world championships and 39 pennants, the Yankees have always ruled baseball… except during hard times. Don’t believe it? Let’s go to the videotape.

From 1913 to 1921… basically, World War I... the Yankees stunk.

From 1929 to 1931… the Great Depression… they never finished above second.

From 1942 to 1946… World War II… They won once, then collapsed.

From 1965 to 1975… Vietnam, civil unrest, Nixon, Watergate… the Yankees were pitiful.

From 1982 to 1995… recessions, savings & loan scandal, Iran-Contra, the Gulf War… horrible Yankee teams.

Do you think it coincidence that on Aug. 2, 1990, the day the Yankees fell into last place in the American League, Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait? We don’t.

Remember all that optimism as the millenium ended? Well, it happened during a run of four consecutive Yankee championships.

Then came Sept. 11, 2001. We haven’t won a World Series since.

Which brings us to 2007, this wretched lowest of seasons yet.

We're nearly bankrupt. The 10-game surge didn't work. If the Tampa Bay Devil Rays lose, somehow, it’s our fault. We can’t go into a foreign city without facing mobs. The world hates us. They hate our power. They hate our success. They hate our free agents.

Yes, we made mistakes…

Forty million for Carl Pavano. Twenty million just to negotiate with Iggy. Karl Farnsworth. That invasion of Colorado.

Today, on this holiest of Yankee holidays, we must put aside our turmoil.

You Red Sock fans, you Met fans, you "blame Yankee-first"ers... all who hate us...

Today, we are not rooting for the Yankees.

We’re making a better world.


[Posted by el duque, not Superfrankenstein, never mind what it says below.]

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Never mind what it says on this comment. It was written by el duque.

Stang said...

Superfrankenstein wrote this comment.

But he would never write a post about Country in the middle of a God-given winning streak.