Yankeetorial: Rudy For President

Yankee fan/presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani has vowed to NEVER use the power of the Oval Office to win his favorite ballclub a championship.

He cannot.

Not if he wants to be elected.

Our "open society" still harbors too many Yankee haters -- aka "pennant racists."

But if Rudy wins a White House ring, we fans can expect some wonderful surprises, like this one in today's NY Daily News:

City taxpayers subsidized the salaries of nearly a dozen top Yankees execs between 2001 and 2005 and paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for lobbyists for the new $1.3 billion Yankee stadium, a new report charges.

Team management even charged the city for the cost of hotel rooms for owner George Steinbrenner and his daughter Jennifer Swindall and for a percentage of the salaries of Steinbrenner's two sons, team executives Hank and Hal Steinbrenner.

The civic watchdog group Good Jobs New York says the money came from a $5 million annual "New Stadium" planning fund.

The fund - $25 million over five years - was approved by former Mayor Rudy Giuliani in his final days in office.

That $25 million is chicken feed, considering the city's $59 billion budget. But give the First Fan a $3 trillion federal purse, then do the math:

We can spend $12.7 billion.

Put it toward middle relief, a designated hitter and a back-up catcher who can hit better than .125, then watch the rings pile up on our fingers.

The Red Sox know this.

They're so scared of our Rudyville Slugger that they're fielding their own leather--and they even call him "Mitt."

Rudy For President/First Fan
The Power of the Chief
The Pride of the Pinstripes