YANKEETORIAL: Cheapass Dallas Oil Slick Owner Rips Yank Fans for Not Wearing "Antlers," Then Apologizes Like Coward that He Is

Chuck Greenberg, owner of the 1-run-in-27 innings Dallas Rangers, fuming because nobody watched the World Series, not even Redsocks fans, bashed the Yankiverse yesterday as "awful," and then -- like a politician caught Charlie Sheening in a motel -- performed the coward's p.r. rites of passage and apologized. He just wants those hate words to go away.

Well, you know what'll go away, Mr. Billionaire Viagra Cowboy?

Hopefully, Cliff Lee will go away.

Folks, here's how hypocrisy works:

The Texas crowd -- in purely good fun, of course! -- chants  "Yankees suck." You heard them. Everybody did. The network mouth-fairies won't mention it. After all, it's the Bible Belt. They're Christians. They wear cowboy hats. They're old-fashioned, wife-beating, string-em-up Texans.

"YANKEES SUCK!" Haha. What fun!

Plus, as everybody knows, Texas built its team the fiscally responsible way: They came in last for a decade and drafted high. (Communism, isn't it?) And they don't overpay their players. Nope. As billionaires, they know the importance of being cheapasses and letting stars go to other teams. If not for the Yankees, who overpay players, all of baseball -- at least, the owners anyway -- would be so much better off.

Of course, Chuck Greenberg won't criticize a fellow owner. Nope. He'll see them at the 19th hole. So he'll rip Yankee fans. No, make that New York fans. New York fans don't read the Bible. They don't wear string ties. They won't wear "antlers," which are distributed through revenue generating corporate promotions. They're crude and obnoxious. Their pants sag. 

Did anybody at Yankee Stadium even bother to chant "Texas sucks?" I doubt it. Texas hasn't earned the right to suck in a cheer.

So he's sorry, eh? You know what's sorry? Out in five. That's sorry.

LET'S REOPEN THE KENNEDY SHOOTING. WHERE WAS GREENBERG WHEN JACK RUBY WAS PLUGGED?