1. A-Rod lost until whenever.
2. No catchers available.
3. No thirdbasemen available.
4. No rightfielder available
5. Nobody to trade with.
6. News reports say he has no authority to make offers.
7. Lose Eli Whitney (who teams have passed around like a bong)
8. Eric Chavez signs elsewhere.
9. Fat Jeter jokes on Internet.
10. No building to rappel down.
11. Anger that Grammy nominations skipped Clay Aiken.
12. Travel time means have to miss new Gerard Butler movie.
13. Rejected by Youk? SAY IT AINT SO.
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2 comments:
Michael Young. Can play third. Can do lots of stuff. DH, too. And Jeter likes him (Derek gives him hell at the All Star games). Young won't accept a trade to the Phillies. Neither would I, for that matter. But, use the Ichiro ploy- hey, fading star, like to finish your career in the venerable pinstripes? Young agrees. Yanks send to Texas very little because the relationship between Young & the Rangers has soured. Nolan, you are going to LOVE this Pineda guy. He throws at batters' heads just like you used to! There's the solution: Michael Young.
THINGS THAT WENT RIGHT FOR BRIAN CASHMAN:
1) No extortion attempts.
2) No clandestine photos of Cashman appear in the New York Post with the caption "Brian 'the Love Machine' Cashman negotiates in Nashville".
3) Informed privately by ESPN that if he is fired by the Yankees they have prepared a reality TV show featuring him, Bobby Valentine, Kevin Youkilis and Josh Beckett where the quartet live in substandard housing in a Boston suburb and seek honest employment.
4) Girardi agreed to be Brian's personal trainer.
5) Brian borrowed Bud Selig's rug and wore it upside down, enabling him to pick up a new lady friend at a BBQ joint in Nashville.
6) He made no trades, thus El Duque's blood pressure remains stable.
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