FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Posted by el duque at 7:15 AM
To the untrained eye, this savage tonguelashing would appear to be a textbook example of web-based alcoholism. In fact, it was one of the greatest displays of Reverse Juju in recent times. "Reverse Juju" is the use of negativity to inspire your team to win. The classic example is to say, as most everyone did last night, "Ichiro never gets a hit," moments before he drove in the winning runs.
Yesterday, Alphonso ripped the farm system brutally and seemingly permanently, training his guns on an eternal prospect of Brackmanistic proportions, the now 25-year-old pitcher Dellin Betances. Yes, just typing that ridiculous-sounding name shrivels my manhood to the size of a baby carrot. Since the time of Jesus, Yankee fans have been awaiting the coming of Betances, one of the original - try not to laugh - "Killer Bees."
Betances is one of those prospects who looks far better coming off the bus than coming into the game. He stands 6'8", a living testament to all the goliaths who shut down the Yankees without a peep - while we end up serving the luke warm likes of Colter Bean and Todd Erdos.
Last night, Betances - who Triple A hitters this spring have been greeting like Jerry Cooney in the lobby of the Mohawk Sun - went seven innings, gave up one run, three hits, struck out seven and walked only one batter. One.
Obviously, one game doesn't salvage a prospect. But Betances needed that game. The Yankee farm system needed that game. If - and it's a Big If, granted - Betances could figure out how to engineer that ectomorphic frame into a pitching motion, we might actually get something from our farm system this year. I'm talking about an impact player, not a middle innings bullpen lugnut or a 28 year old scrapheaper Cuban.
I just hope - nay, I pray it - that by discussing this, I haven't destroyed the Reverse Negativity Hypodermic of Juju Juice that Alphonso surgically injected into the farm system. But desperate times call for desperate measures. It's Dealin' Betances!