FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Posted by el duque at 8:48 AM
When stars, such as Kevin Youkilis, join the team, the first order of business - after the de-lousing bath - is to be shaven and shorn of excessive facial festoonery.
Which is why, yesterday, all practicing fans of the Yankiverse were dismayed and concerned over the "situation" involving Joba Chamberlain upper lip component.
For months, it has been rumored that Joba will not be re-signed after this season, and even that the team is edging him to the Swisher door. This spring, when Joba suggested he still could be a starting pitcher, the Yankee brass openly mocked his statements.
We at IT IS HIGH have long opposed the Yankee Policy of Bare Faces. We have been looking for a champion, for a leader, who can Salvador Dali the Yankees into the New Age.
Today, we believe the Yankee facial hair ban is hanging by a follicle. Joba Chamberlain may be the rebel leader we needed. Every hair below his nose calls for Change... long overdue.
We support Joba's mustache. Yes, he sucked yesterday in the eighth. Nevertheless, it wasn't his mustache's fault. Don't blame the mustache for the failure of the frame! Don't blame the beard for a .222. It's time for the Yankees to accept facial diversity. America is on the verge of supporting same-sex marriage - and yet the Yankee facial hair ban remains in effect? We say, down with the beard ban!
If your team is always winning, you can ban anything. But when your team is in fourth, change must come.
LONG LIVE JOBA'S MUSTACHE.
DOWN WITH THE YANKEE HAIR BAN.
LET OUR PEOPLE GROW.