Pennywise, pitcher foolish? Yanks still haven't spent a nickel on free agents

Thus far, this winter, four MLB teams have spent absolutely nothing - nada, zilch, zip - on free agents. They are the Cubs, Marlins, Rockies and - yeah, you guessed it - the Yankees. 

Look, it's too early to start boiling the tar. Surely, the front office is lying in wait, claws extended, ready to pounce. That manure under the tree? There must be a pony! Some big time starters - basically, Blake Snell and Jordan Montgomery - remain unsigned. If we bag either, our outlook will suddenly improve, right? 

So... tick-tick-tick... here we are... humina-humina-humina... um... waiting...?  I'm not worried. Nope. We'll sign somebody. Maybe that Japanese pitcher they keep saying is not the new Kai Igawa? (What an endorsement!) Or the Cuban? Or Josh Hader? Or Gio Urshela? Somebody... sometime... something... right? 

So... probably today. Any minute now. I mean, I'M NOT WORRIED! Not one iota. (Two iotas gets you Jeter Downs.) Surely, Hal will pry open his checkbook and, BANG, just like that volcano near Reykjavik, everything will catch fire. It's just... you know... so... quiet...  

Hey, how's that weather? Not much happening. Syracuse leads in the Golden Snowball, but only by a trace. Last year, by now, Buffalo had 101 inches. This year, Giancarlo Stanton.

So... watched Anderson Cooper get hammered Sunday night. It may be God's greatest gift to humankind that he doesn't normally drink...

So... watched the miracle Giants blow another. Every week, they do the impossible: Make the Jets look viable. 

So... any minute now... right? Surely, we'll sign somebody... right? I keep hearing trade rumors and think, nah... why trade, when you can sign somebody...  

I mean, we won't go the winter without a blizzard. And they won't without a big signing... right...?