What does this have to do with the '24 Yankees?
Well, Brian Cashman needs a sin-eater.
Specifically, he needs somebody who devours innings - 180 would do - and spare the Yank bullpen from what has become a late-summer tradition: The annual implosion.
Last year, the Yankees wrangled 368 innings out of starters Gerrit Cole (209 IP) and Clarke Schmidt (159). That's not far from the output (440 IP) of the remaining rotation. The final three starters included:
Domingo German, 108 IP
Carlos Rodon, 64
Jhony Brito, about 50 (swing role)
Nestor Cortes, 63
Randy Vasquez, about 30 (swing)
Luis Severino, 89
Michael King, about 40 (swing)
German, Brito, Vasquez, Severino and King are gone. That's about 317 innings, out the door. We've signed Marcus Stroman, who last year ate 136 for the Cubs. We're hoping for Rodon and Nasty Nestor to suddenly eat their weights. Either way, we'll need somebody - human or mortal - to gulp down another 180.
And God forbid something happens to Cole or Schmidt, the latter who polished off far more innings than he'd ever done before.
Which brings me to the current rumored mini-war over closer Hector Neris. Supposedly - and let's note that news stories could be Gammonitic tripe to make Food Stamps Hal look like a player - the Yankees are dueling with Stevie Cohen over Neris, the ex-Astro closer. Either way, Neris will be 35 this year, and in 2023, he pitched 68 innings in 71 appearances.
Look, I'm all for signing bullpen lug nuts. You never have too many, and Clay Holmes might be running out of bandwidth. But unless the Yankees shore up the rotation, they can fill their bullpen with the cast of Glee, but it's destined to crash, come August. What they need is not another closer. They need an Ole Munch.
So... can Blake Snell or Jordan Montgomery wear a kilt?
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15 comments:
Munch was the best character on Fargo this season, neck and neck with Dot (who had been really good on Ted Lasso).
We didn't get him, but we have Weaver and Stroman.
So...Cole, Rodon, Stroman, Schmidt and Weaver? It's gonna be a looooong season.
Can we give Soto back and get our pitchers who went to get him?
This may be Cashman's worst off-season yet, which is saying something.
Loved the NFL ideas! Genius, Duque...and hilarious, Doug!
Publius, I'd go you one further: bring back two-way football. Have a very limited number of substitutions. That would greatly increase the athleticism of the game overnight.
I know, I know. Never going to happen. Too many people—not just players, but also assistant coaches—would lose their jobs.
Other ideas:
—Larry David thinks they should just do away with the kicking part of the game, period. Interesting—but not sure if it would improve it.
—No more replays. But that would probably encourage cheating by the zebras.
I dunno. But we DO have to get of those "Liberty Bibberty" ads. That ad campaign is supposed to be (something of) an ongoing narrative. but it's now stalled for over a year. Are they getting rid of the old guy or not? Inquiring minds want to know!
I think most of the NFL conspiracy theories started with the Namath upset. A whole host of middle-aged, angry white men who were counting on watching Joe Namath's head buried in the Miami turf just couldn't accept it.
Also, everybody was deceived by those first two Super Bowls, which were romps for the NFL. If you look at the games, the AFL teams—the Chiefs, the Raiders—are easily a match, physically, for the NFL team (the Packers), and in the years to come, both KC and Oakland would win Super Bowls.
The difference? A certain NYC native I like to call Vince Lombardi. It was Lombardi who had his team playing—as usual—above its head, and Lombardi whose game plans surprised and disrupted the opponent.
Oh, and the Beatles really got better when Billy Shears replaced Paul.
Klaatu. That's all I have to say, Hoss.
Klaatu.
Anybody see the uniwatch news? Yanks ditching the white outlines on the road grays in 2024? Trying to distract fans, induce some Mantle era nostalgia? Yankee, Inc thinks the fan base is a collection of easily satisfied idiots.
Paxton looks like he's going to sign with LA. They just sign everybody. Or anybody, for that matter.
Yeah Pub, I read that online. I’m OK with it.
Coming from a brutal cynic like me, that’s practically a rave.
Chapman to Pirates. They need the water.
I can't imagine Monty'd come back. Or that Cash would even offer. Admitting a mistake. Then again, they dumped Bader. Anything's possible, I guess.
Gallo to the Nats. They aren't getting better.
And Klaatu barada nikto to you, JM!
Wasn't there a porn movie called "Ole Munch, the Octogenarian Cunnilingus King from Tampa?"
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