The Death Barge just took the crucial Game One Series Opener against the mighty Texas Rangers of Del Monte, who sit only eight games below .500 on the season.
Obviously, this ensures a Yankee series victory, if not a visit by Mr. McBroom, himself. Right?
As every 2024 Yank fan knows, taking Game One is a sign that we're turning the corner, shifting gears, getting our bearings, bouncing back, coming around, bonking the new intern, licking the crusty trowel and crapping the "everything "pineapple... am I right?
Of course. Winning Game One is soooo important for this playoffs-bound, organizational, for-profit, corporate enterprise. For example, last week, against the Nats. In Game One, we showed those DC clumps who's boss. A 5-2 victory! Proving again that our bullpen can handle the job!
Unfortunately, we - ahem - lost the next two.
We followed it up with a Game One victory over the then-nosediving St. Louis Cardinals, allowing the YES team to conjure memories of Bob Gibson and Stan Musial. We beat their asses 6-3, leaving absolutely NO DOUBT of our superiority - none, whatsoever - until we - ahem - clanged the next two.
Yep, nothing like winning Game One. It lets you to take off the next two, knowing that after all is done, we'll still make the postseason because of our April and May, and in the end, nobody will care what happened in early September, right?
So, rejoice, everybody. To beat Texas, all the Yankees need do is win one of the next two games! No problem, right? Not with a glorious team of destiny, right?
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12 comments:
Rizzo returning to the lineup has helped...
Yes, it has. He's looked pretty damn good so far. Glad to see it.
More time to allow his brain to regenerate and heal.
Our infield was terrible for some time, with no production at first, second, or third -- and very inconsistent at short. If Rizzo and Volpe can just be average and gleyber and Chisholm keep hitting, it's actually pretty good now.
That leaves left field as the gaping eyesore. Did Verdugo catch Boone in bed with a dead girl or a live boy?
If Rizzo can regenerate and heal his brain, perhaps there's still hope that management can generate one.
Maybe it was the corpse of Edwin Edwards???
The magic 8 ball says "not a chance".
This organization is "Baffling"...
I was surprised to learn that the Orioles had a losing record in both July and August. Teams just don't seem to have deep enough pitching these days (Baltimore and LA have had terrible luck with their pitchers). I still believe that signing Soto will be a disaster for the club. Too much money tied up in a handful of players has never paid off. We need pitching, and Hal is damned sure not going to buy it if he springs for Soto. Hell, he'd probably fire the coaching staff and let players figure it out for themselves (probably not the worst thing in the world). Plus, Vertigo, Torres, and Rizzo need to be replaced. Signing Soto will preclude Hal from making the right moves. And let's face it, Soto isn't the second coming of Willie Mays...
Destiny!!
Could we hire the 8-ball to run the team?
It would get better results, but doesn't know ANALytics, so HAL would never use it.
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