If I spin the magic Yankee injury calculator wheel, squint into the small cardboard cutout after matching "4 to 6 weeks" with "Cashman" and the current year, "2025," the answer in the box says: "10 Weeks Minimum." No matter how many times I shake the whole stupid wheel and doing it over, I keep getting the same result. Then again, the back of the magic calculator wheel DOES say, in tiny print, "PLEASE NOTE: ALL CALCULATIONS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE AND, IN FACT, ALL WE DO IS LIE. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR $1.99 AND TEN CEREAL BOX TOPS?"
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If I spin the magic Yankee injury calculator wheel, squint into the small cardboard cutout after matching "4 to 6 weeks" with "Cashman" and the current year, "2025," the answer in the box says: "10 Weeks Minimum." No matter how many times I shake the whole stupid wheel and doing it over, I keep getting the same result. Then again, the back of the magic calculator wheel DOES say, in tiny print, "PLEASE NOTE: ALL CALCULATIONS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE AND, IN FACT, ALL WE DO IS LIE. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR $1.99 AND TEN CEREAL BOX TOPS?"
I'd like a fuckin' decoder ring that lasts the season.
Fuck CashBrain.
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