Well, that's how I feel today: Cured.
Cured of watching the Yankees shit the bed on national TV. Nope. I'm finished with Fox, done with ESPN. From now on, I'm sticking with Suzyn and David, whose banter belongs in a Hallmark rom-com. I'm done with "big" games. Can't we schedule another trip to Colorado? Here we are, big time leader in the AL East - and a laughingstock everywhere else. And if the Yankees somehow make it to October - nothing is certain, because a market correction is coming - maybe I'll clamp my eyes... shut.
My God. What a Hollywood trope this team is. In LA, they say dying is easy, comedy is hard. Last night, the Yankees had the Dodgers slapping their knees.
1. Aaron Judge hitting two solo HRs. Is that a practical joke? When he hit his second, the team was fucking down by 15! Fifteen. A solo shot, when you're down by 15? Are you fucking kidding me? We used to call them "A-Rod homers." I get it - the game was out of reach, and nothing mattered. But all Judge did was remind the world of his shameful failure last October, when every play mattered - including the botched fly that launched the avalanche. Frankly, he should have whiffed or, if someone was aboard, hit gracefully into a DP.
2. Aaron Boone leaving Will Warren to the dogs. In Hollywood, looking good is better than feeling good. Somehow, Warren managed to look even worse than he pitched. From the git-go, he was sweating in a torrent reminiscent of El Chapo himself, Aroldis Chapman, the Cuban Water Cannon - as he shriveled under the California sun. Warren looked like a high schooler picked randomly from the crowd. What's even funnier is that he started the game with a better ERA than the Dodger pitcher, who the Yankees made to look like Koufax.
3. And tonight, it's Yamamoto, the Japanese pitcher Cashman once went "all-out" to sign - and failed, of course. In Hollywood, it's always about being first. And in bidding wars, the Yankees consistently finish first runner-up. They came in second for Ohtani. They came in second for Bryce Harper. They came in second for Manny Machado. They came in second for Freedie Freeman. Yeah, Cody Bellinger and Paul "Olden Goldie" Goldschmidt were nice, frugal pick-ups. But when a star goes on the market, you can bet your fucking bippy that the Yankees will finish second.
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9 comments:
Two meaningless home runs last night.
Sacrilege I know, goes against all the precepts of all the churches in all the world, but I'm having trouble remembering Judge coming up big in a big difference-making situation. Somebody refresh my memory, head off this creeping feeling I have that Judge might just be a paper-hanger.
14 Home Runs in two games. Hmmmmmn. Seems odd.
There was an eighth inning HR (I think) not too long ago, within the past two or three weeks.
And that's it. He's a great hitter, but kind of a paper hanger. Okay, not even "kind of."
Yes, it does. Almost like they were stealing signs somehow. Otherwise, they're just a lot better than we are.
Exactly what I was thinking!
That Korean SS/2B/CF, Hyeseong Kim, looks a lot better than Volpe, no? He turned an unassisted DP and later threw out Judge trying to stretch a single off the wall into a double. If that was Volpe on that soft liner, betcha Volpe would've dropped it and everybody would've been safe. BTW, there was a DP turned by Volpe and DJL that was reversed. Volpe should've charged the ball, which was taking an eternity to get to him, but he stayed back and took a little too long to get the ball to DJL at 2B. Who does the infield coaching here? I've noticed that the infielders don't like to charge the ball.
Exactky. Walk to the post season and crash.
Bottom line, they played like a bunch of drunks and paid the price. Didn't the Yankee hitters look very unprepared against the Dodger starter, whatshisname, Logan Brunch, was it? Was throwing a lot of fastballs over the plate, sometimes right down the middle. No swings, nothing doing, take strike 3 and sit down. That was really weird. Even Judge in the 1st inning, took a couple of hittable fastballs over the plate, then on a breaking pitch, grounds into the DP. Pathetic, all of it. If a non-baseball fan watched that game, he would've thought the Yankees are the worst team in baseball.
Well, Judge definitely ain't no Bernie Williams. But nobody else has been either the last 15 years.
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