Call off your dogs, Selig. It's over. You won.

Call off your dogs, Selig. It's over. You won.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Jesus Cometh Through

Jesus Montero, that is.

He's the 16-year-old tree-trunk we bought last summer in the annual Latin America Third-World Exploitation Auction. We paid $1.2 million, no doubt after caliper-sizing each billiard, analysis of DNA and retrieval of a semi-clean stool sample from the centrifuge.

Naturally, Jesus soon got hurt. Rumor is he tried to lift his money.

Yesterday, he played his first game for the Rookie League Gulf Coast League Yankees.

First time up, BANG. Home run to center field.

Next three times, two Ks and a ground out.

It's time to begin pondering John Sterling's future calls.

When Bernie Williams hit one, he'd shout: "Bernie goes boom!"
Alex Rodriguez: "An A-Bomb from A-Rod!"
Hideki Matsui: "An upper-decky from Hideki!"

Jesus Montero... any ideas?

5 comments:

Superfrankenstein said...

"Jesus Christ All-Montero!"

Superfrankenstein said...

No, wait.

"That's flying outta here -- on a JEEZ BREEZE!"

charlie sands said...

Savior rises. THUHHHHHHHHHH Savior rises!

Anonymous said...

Jesus has NAILED it!

Anonymous said...

" Jesus Smoteth Another Big One ?"

- Alphoso the Agnostic