After being pilloried for days by all forms of media, the Mets can finally breathe easy.
Brian Cashman has signed retrobate, alcohol-addled, mean spirited and pugnacious Sidney Ponson. He will be in the headlines daily now, until sentencing.
We can only hope he starts against Boston and "goes inside" to all their superstars....except Jacoby, who is weak and must be protected.
In a brief interview with an unnamed IIH,IIF,IIc roving reporter, Brian mentioned, "I am really happy we didn't have to reach into our pod of minor league pitchers to fill this gap. First of all, given Sidney's weight limit, we would have had to bring up at least 2 guys."
Sounds like Brian had had a few before this quip, no?
In any case, apparently none of our sober, hard-working guys is deemed ready. I just hope MLB's minor league assessment team doesn't send it's auditors back out to the boondocks. We need to maintain this illusion that the Yankee's minor league system is highly rated.
Hmmm, let's do the math; an overweight, drunken jailbird who was recently dismissed ...despite a good pitching record...by the Rangers for being an obnoxious punk, or last year's "pitcher of the year " in AA.
Anyone want to review Brian's decision not to trade Yankee "prospects" for CC Sabathia in this context?
" Sidney is commited to the Club," stated Brian, "and we need another clubhouse guy. I'm pretty sure he knows his way around Clubs."
Brian, in confidence, added, "We haven't had much unrelenting hate, fighting, or felonious assault against anyone in the dugout since Billy Martin, Reggie, Ed Whitson and Fritz Petersen left.
I did this to stir things up, at least until Andrew Brackman is out of the hospital for the second or third time."
And it is apparently untrue that the Yankees are adding a "shots and beer " patch to the pinstripes for home games.
BUY MY BOOK: BARD OF THE DEAL: THE POETRY OF DONALD TRUMP
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Posted by Alphonso at 9:57 AM