It is high, it is far, it is... Roger Clemens on Viagra?

The Daily News says Roger Clemens and other MLB players use Viagra during games.

Doctors say the drug enhances blood flow to major parts of the – oh, the hell with this, we all know what it does: It makes a mean pitcher a little meaner.

Yeesh. It’s tough enough to stand in against a 95-mph fastball. Now, imagine it coming from a guy with a diamond-cutter poking from sliding shorts, and that if you bend to knock the dirt out of your cleats, he might make a flying leap at your dumpster.

Well, someone could make all sorts of lame jokes about this, but it would be crude and tasteless and – HELL, DID SOMEBODY SAY CRUDE AND TASTELESS?

LET’S GO.

Q: How does Roger Clemens throw on Viagra?

A: High and hard.

Q: What do they call Roger Clemens at the Fruit of the Loom company?

A: That guy with the wicked splitter.

Q: When on Viagra, how does Roger Clemens screw in a light bulb?
A: Quite well. The hard part, though, is getting him inside the light bulb.

Q: Why did Roger Clemens throw the bat at Mike Piazza?

A: He didn’t need two of them.

Q: What does Roger Clemens never find in a bullpen?

A: True relief.

Q: What do they call Roger Clemens caught in a rundown?

A: The pickle in the pickle.

Q: When Roger Clemens comes up to bat, what do fans expect?

A: Good wood.

Q: You hear Roger Clemens has gotten a little kinky while on Viagra?

A: Yeah, he's gotten to like being handcuffed by grounders.

Q: If you're Roger Clemens, what's worse than a hanging curve?

A: Just hanging.

Q: Why did Roger Clemens come to the ballpark early?

A: He heard there was a chance to shag a few flies.

Q: What team did Roger Clemens most love to play?

A: The Tampa Bay Devil Lays.

Q: Why did Roger Clemens want to be a closer?

A: He wanted to experience a blown save.

Q: Why was Roger Clemens a lousy batter?

A: He spent too much time choking up.