Last night's Scranton linescore for Sidney Ponson, the Tuba from Aruba

Vs. the Mudhens of Toledo.

Innings: 4.0

Hits: 3

Runs: 2

Earned runs: 1

Walks: 3

Strikeouts: 2

ERA: 2.2.5

Pitches: 78

DWIs: 0

Assaults: 0

Arrests: 0*

Public exposures: 0

Obscene gestures: INC

Damage to hotel rooms: INC

Heroic rescues of children from burning buildings: 0

Keys to city accepted: 0

Speeches to non-profit groups on civic responsibility: 0

Beers consumed: INC

Entire sides of restaurant menus consumed: INC

Contacts with probation officers: INC

Lurid stories told about life in prison: INC

Flatulence Index: 9.7 (Estimated)

Uniform seams ripped out: UNKNOWN

Damages to team reputation: Priceless

*Yet reported