Buck: Joining us now is an all-time great, Yankee Stadium, and I must say that it’s truly an honor to have you here. Great game last night. How are you feeling?
Stadium: My pipes hurt. Pretty stopped up. You go 15 innings, and you can’t believe what gets flushed down the toilets. At my age, it’s like kidney stones. I’m still trying to pass a 7th inning load of nachos from the Tampa Bay series. But hell, I’ll fight through it.
Buck: That's great. We're with Yankee Stadium, and it's such an honor. And it must have been a thrill to host all those great stars, eh?
Stadium: Stars? I never heard of half the players on the National League team. If Shepard had been there, he’d have needed a phonetic guide. Some guy made three errors in one game. An all-star makes three errors in one game. Can you imagine that? I thought I was having Bobby Meachem flashbacks.
Buck: That's great. In case you just joined us, we're here in the both with none other than Yankee Stadium. And the Hall of Famers – Whitey, Yogi, Reggie – it must have been great to see them?
Stadium: Truth be told, when I see them, I feel really old. I mean, when did Willie McCovey need a wheelchair?
Buck: Greats of the game. Truly great. So you must be looking forward to retirement?
Stadium: Yeah. Ask Brett Favre how he feels. You know, if I thought I couldn’t bring it – if I thought I couldn’t still host a big game, I’d have quit long ago. But, hey, they’re spending a lot of money on this new park. Somebody made a decision that newer is better. They trot out the old-timers whenever things get bad, whenever they need a jolt of legitimacy. But when it's you or a luxury box, guess which way they go. Aww, hell, that’s baseball.
Buck: Heh-heh. Well, it's hard to imagine you ever slowing down. We're here with Yankee Stadium, and it is such and honor. And something tells me you’ll have a lot of great moments ahead of you in the golden years.
Stadium: What the fuck? Are you kidding? The way things are going, I’ll end up in Dubai. My final full house will probably be a crowd watching some prince chop off his ex-wife’s hands. They're going to tear me apart and sell me to the highest bidder.
Buck: Whatever your future, it's been great. And you have be feeling good today!
Stadium: Oh, I get it. This is your gong question. You invited me here and haven’t heard a word I said, and the last thing you wanted was an honest answer. Just kill a few minutes, and make it sound like everything is great, and maybe a few people will actually believe it. I’m supposed to go out peacefully, as if it were my idea – instead of a bunch of pompous billionaires and politicians – I’m supposed to bend over and take it. Well, you know what? I don’t mind the stopped up pipes from nachos. What stops me up is all the money they flush down the toilets. That’s what – hey – get your hands off me. I’ve still got his microphone and it’s ti-
Stadium: My pipes hurt. Pretty stopped up. You go 15 innings, and you can’t believe what gets flushed down the toilets. At my age, it’s like kidney stones. I’m still trying to pass a 7th inning load of nachos from the Tampa Bay series. But hell, I’ll fight through it.
Buck: That's great. We're with Yankee Stadium, and it's such an honor. And it must have been a thrill to host all those great stars, eh?
Stadium: Stars? I never heard of half the players on the National League team. If Shepard had been there, he’d have needed a phonetic guide. Some guy made three errors in one game. An all-star makes three errors in one game. Can you imagine that? I thought I was having Bobby Meachem flashbacks.
Buck: That's great. In case you just joined us, we're here in the both with none other than Yankee Stadium. And the Hall of Famers – Whitey, Yogi, Reggie – it must have been great to see them?
Stadium: Truth be told, when I see them, I feel really old. I mean, when did Willie McCovey need a wheelchair?
Buck: Greats of the game. Truly great. So you must be looking forward to retirement?
Stadium: Yeah. Ask Brett Favre how he feels. You know, if I thought I couldn’t bring it – if I thought I couldn’t still host a big game, I’d have quit long ago. But, hey, they’re spending a lot of money on this new park. Somebody made a decision that newer is better. They trot out the old-timers whenever things get bad, whenever they need a jolt of legitimacy. But when it's you or a luxury box, guess which way they go. Aww, hell, that’s baseball.
Buck: Heh-heh. Well, it's hard to imagine you ever slowing down. We're here with Yankee Stadium, and it is such and honor. And something tells me you’ll have a lot of great moments ahead of you in the golden years.
Stadium: What the fuck? Are you kidding? The way things are going, I’ll end up in Dubai. My final full house will probably be a crowd watching some prince chop off his ex-wife’s hands. They're going to tear me apart and sell me to the highest bidder.
Buck: Whatever your future, it's been great. And you have be feeling good today!
Stadium: Oh, I get it. This is your gong question. You invited me here and haven’t heard a word I said, and the last thing you wanted was an honest answer. Just kill a few minutes, and make it sound like everything is great, and maybe a few people will actually believe it. I’m supposed to go out peacefully, as if it were my idea – instead of a bunch of pompous billionaires and politicians – I’m supposed to bend over and take it. Well, you know what? I don’t mind the stopped up pipes from nachos. What stops me up is all the money they flush down the toilets. That’s what – hey – get your hands off me. I’ve still got his microphone and it’s ti-
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