John “D’backs” McCain and Rudy Redsock toured the Stadium yesterday.
Woopie.
Count the silverware.
With fans like them, who needs wins?
Or have we forgotten 2001, when D’backs celebrated our World Series demise by climbing onto the shoulders of his spider woman megawife to wave his Bic lighter in the air.
Or last fall, after Rudy sniffed voter poon on the wind and abruptly announced he was rooting for Boston. Hell, any day now, he might throw in with the Taliban.
Celebrities…
Listen:
There are muthefukkin snakes on this muthefukkin Yankee plane.
If there’s a movie out, if there’s a new Fox reality show, if there’s a political campaign, we get the bastards shoved down our throats. Who can forget seeing the Skeletor-like presence of Ali McBeal – Calista Somethingorther, in her pre-Harrison Ford incarnation – gulping down a cheeseburger on cue, perhaps to refute tabloid accounts that she was down to 43 pounds and thin enough to walk through prison bars. Or Sir Paul McCartney – yeah, he’s gotta be a big Yankee fan – who blurbed Bernie Williams CD with the statement that Bernie had hit a “home run.” Creative, eh?
And let’s not even mention Hillary. It hurts too much.
We are supposed to believe that the constant presence of celebrities validates our passion. We see Vanna White or Bert Convey, and we’re supposed to think, “Hey, I’m special.”
Yeah, right. These ginned-up fame vipers preen and touch everything for the sheer opportunity to drink Yankee blood and soak up our souls. Then they go home and vomit money into the coffers of our enemies.
Tommy Lasorda spent more time sucking up to Hollywood stars than studying his bullpen.
Sucking up to actors: Is that how you win the pennant?
We should declare a moratorium on celebrities “touring” Yankee Stadium for its final days. Once, not long ago, when D'Backs was rooting for Curt and Randy, emergency and rescue teams at Ground Zero got so sick of "visiting" celebrities that they simply put an end to it.
We have enough distractions.
And Madonna, that means you.
Posts
7 comments:
Suzyn called Rudy "America's Mayor" two or three times yesterday.
WTF?
Doesn't she know that he's back to his pre-9/11 popularity rating?
Piece o' crap...
Some exceptions:
Billy Crystal
Jack Nicholson
Henry Kissinger
i.e., time-tested.
Dear Readers,
I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but the new Yankee stadium will be all celebrities, all the time.
At $60,000 + for 4 average seats, what normal person will be going to the new Yankee stadium?
Then again, celebrities never pay for anything themselves, so who is going to foot their bills?
Here's how it will work:
A-Rod will give tickets, paid for by the Yankees, to Madonna, who will pay for nothing at the ballpark.
Later, A-Rod will be repaid by Madonna, who will then repay Brian Cashman.
Any unpaid bills will be worked into the Yankee tickets which the celebs won't pay for.
Hmmmm.
Every team has celebrity fans and "fans." Except maybe the Marlins.
Anyone who shows up at Marlins games is a celebrity.
Mr. Duque,
Is everything okay at home? I've never seen you so bitter. Don't worry about Ol' McCainey, despite being older than disposable diapers, vinyl records, and polaroid cameras, he'll never know what it's like to root for a team that existed before 1998.
Everyone knows that Roy Bernardi is America's Mayor now. Everyone!
Post a Comment