REASONS WHY AROD AND MADONNA ARE SURELY HAVING AN AFFAIR

It must be true. It's in the papers.

ARod excels at meaningless scores.

Madonna is the only person capable of taking ARod things where Kyle Farnsworth cannot go.

Through Giambi, ARod has become infatuated with joining a kaballah.

Madonna’s secret Jewish name turned out to be "Melky."

ARod has always been projected to be "chasing the Babe."

Madonna's stage show, where naked male dancers surround her while she simulates masturbation, is what Arod imagines a World Series victory would be like.

ARod finally found someone with brawnier arms.

ARod loved her childrens’ books.

They heard of Brangelina and thought it would be neat to be Madrod.