Monday, August 4, 2008

Got Melk? After a month of nothing, Giambi shaves his mouthhole

Another Employee of the Month casualty, Jason Giambi in July hit like Melky Cabrera, which is akin to rap-dancing like Karl Rove, or hunting like Dick Cheney.

Lately, we're suffering from PGSD -- Post-Giambi Stress Disorder. When he comes up with men on base, you can't shake that doorknob-in-the-belly feeling, the sense of horrorific unease you'd get when pulling open the steel door an outdoor refrigerator one week after a neighborhood kid has gone missing. You watch from behind the couch.

This morning, Honest Abe tells us that Jace the face has shaved. No more mustache. Good riddance. That's the crop that briefly rallied hard-pressed homers into claiming Giambi deserved a slot on the All-Star team. It didn't work. Because maybe he didn't.

Don't take this wrong. We like Jason Giambi. He plays hard. He never dogs. He's taken every hollow-point bullet the critics of NYC could fire, every toe to the groin that the Mikes and the Maddogs could dish, and he never threw a Barry Bonds fit. He told the truth about steroids, back when it put him alone on the ledge. Nobody stepped out there with him. He didn't back down. And he's still our best hope for carrying this team down the stretch.

Maybe we shouldn't have signed him for seven years. Sometimes, bad luck comes in seven-year increments.

So.... he's shaved. A change of luck?

Maybe we should poll a Yankee Reverse Employee of the Month.

Would it start something? Hm-mm. I bet Giambi would vote for himself.

Well?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Giambi must do much worse to wrest the perpetual reverse employee of the month award from Cabrera.