Clown Convention Opens In Tampa

The pop-ups in the infield are what tipped me off.

First, Cool Name Cody spun around, then he drifted left, then right, then left again. He rolled his eyes back , spit in his glove and yelled, " what the F***! "

The ball dropped about 20 feet to the north-north west of Cody, and about 6 feet from Jeter (racing over to try and save the situation ), for a 98 foot double.

If there had been runners on first and second at the time, and less than two outs, the umps would have invoked the infield fly rule.

Apparently, that's what the Yankees were hoping for.

But the real Clown Convention occurred a bit later............ I can't remember if we were down 10 or 12 runs at the time, but I do recall seeing five Yankees flailing around the pitchers mound, shouting wildly into the rafters, as though preparing to defend themselves against a trained bald eagle that was about to swoop down and grab someone's ball in it's talons.

Ouch.

Nice debut at SS for the "kid." He hopped right on the clown wagon and flailed around that pop-up like the best of them. He'll fit right in.

I think it might be a good idea for Joe Girardi to keep this team in Tampa for another couple of weeks, forfeit a few more exhibitions and retreat to George M. Steinbrenner stadium to review fundamentals;

1. Let's bite the bullet now on Joba and return him to the closer role. It's gonna happen anyway.

2. Bruney, maybe, can handle the 6th or 7th innings.

3. Bring up Phil Hughes and give him a shot at 5th starter. He can be worse than Joba but not worse than Chin Ming.

4. Give anyone else a shot at replacing Chin Ming, while he re-learns how to throw his stinkerball.

Is he allowed to pitch in Scranton? Charleston? The Independent Dirt Field League in South Mexico?

I understand from "authoritative sources" that they have never had a Taiwanese pitcher in that league, up until now. It would attract great fan interest.

5. Get rid of the following: Cody, Coke, Aceves, Albaladejo, Veras and Edwar ( one pitch ) .

6. Bring up : Berreoa ( how do you spell this SHE-FAN?), Melancon, Robertson and some other guys (I'll even take Ian Kennedy for long-relief ).

If we are going to play like clowns, let's at least bring in some new ones.

7. Institute some new rules; E.G. Any relief pitcher ( except MO) who walks his first batter gets sent to pick peanuts in Georgia.

Immediately after the guy walks, Joe will go to the mound carrying a large two-sided sign that reads, " say goodby to the next peanut picker !!"

Have a really cheap bus ready to drive them to Georgia, in their uniform, and give them nothing else. Then, freeze their assets and send the money to the Bernard Madoff recovery fund, under the legal statute governing, " ill-gotten gains."

8. Have the music guys at the New Stadium play, " Send In The Clowns, " anytime the Yankees bring in a relief pitcher not named MO.