TURNCOAT TYNAN TAKES HIS EVIL TO BOSTON

Ronan Tynan -- the wooden-legged tower of evil who orchestrated eight years of negative Yankee juju -- has finally taken his one-trick pony act to Boston.

For eight years -- eight stinking years -- we let this overfed, hairless-and-legless lunk and his K-Mart ski goggles curse our seventh inning stretches, dooming us in the post-season. He sang when Bubba Crosby collided with Gary Sheffield. He sang when Randy Johnson self-immolated. He sang when Raul Mondessi tiptoed after fly balls. HE SANG WHEN JOHNNY DAMON'S GRAND SLAM PUT US BEHIND 9-2 IN THE WORST COLLAPSE IN BASEBALL HISTORY! And only last October, when this steroidal-voiced Irish Seaworld flipper-legged mutant finally got his "walking" papers, did we finally win anything!

Says the Times:

Ronan Tynan became a walk-on Yankee star in 2000, when he stepped onto the field with his artificial legs and clarion voice and belted out ''God Bless America'' during the seventh inning stretch of important games. But that stopped on Oct. 16 of last year, when a woman accused Mr. Tynan of making an anti-Semitic remark. Since then, the charmed existence he enjoyed since emigrating from Ireland in 1998 has soured -- from famous to infamous, as he puts it.

The Yankees told him not to show up that evening at Game 1 of the team's playoff series against the Angels. A media storm followed, ending his tenure with the Yankees. Other work has dried up, and many old friends stopped calling, he said.

Now Mr. Tynan is headed to the anti-New York, as far as baseball is concerned. He has sold his apartment on the East Side of Manhattan and bought one in Boston.

He insists he has not given up on New York -- he will keep a rented apartment here. Nor is he angry at the city. He said he was moving mainly for a change and because he had family and friends in Boston.

The truth comes out. He was a Redsock mole.