10 Things We Will Do to the Yankees if They Blow This Lead to Boston

1. Let Bush tax cuts for millionaires expire. No way those fuckers deserve a tax break.

2. Team lashed to flatbed truck for ride through "Canyon of Losers."

3. Make team stand outside White House in rain while 2010 champs meet President.

4. Set burning paper bags of dog-doo outside clubhouse, so they stomp out fires and get stinky.

5. On live YES postgame report, page "Jack Meawff."

6. Players required to write 5,000-word apology to George Steinbrenner plaque.

7. Stake players in desert path of fire ant army.

8. New walk-off pie recipe: Banana-cream-and-battery acid.

9. 2011 Yankee manager: Stanley McCrystal.

10. Use as "Top Kill" plugs for next Gulf of Mexico oil rig disaster.