Monday, February 28, 2011

Major events over the next 10 Months for MLB Executive Vice President Joe Torre

July 10, 2011: To investigate huge Indians-Royals brawl, Torre appoints newly hired MLB assistant Scott Proctor.

July 12, 2011: After 40 straight hours of hearings, Proctor finishes investigation.

July 20, 2011: To investigate burgeoning steroids scandal, Torre brings in MLB assistant Scott Proctor.

July 28, 2011: Marathon investigation concludes with death of Scott Proctor, believed self-inflicted. Torre hires new special assistant Tanyon Sturtze.

Aug. 4, 2011: After becoming catatonic during 123rd hour of interviews, Tanyon Sturtze undergoes "Tommy John surgery for the brain."

Aug. 5, 2011: Torre announces hiring of MLB special investigator Paul Quantrill.

Sept. 1, 2011: New York Times publishes expose of racism in baseball. Torre announces hiring of new MLB press secretary Gary Sheffield.

Oct. 28, 2011: ALCS ends with Yanks losing to Indians, amid hugel bug infestiation. During game, Torre demands both teams leave playing field. He is overruled by Bud Selig, and two weeks later -- following funeral services for Paul Quantrill -- announces his retirement.

1 comment:

Joe De Pastry said...

I was laughing and almost crying as I read this. Joe was great in the clubhouse, but not in the dugout. And old Mel wasn't much help.