Schlitter, we hardly knew ye

Because Andruw Jones is a Yankee, Brian Schlitter is an ex-Yankee.

Yes, the sad reality about life is that for every newcomer born unto this world, another soul must cross the river Phoenix (and perhaps sign with the Diamondbacks.)

But when Brian Schlitter became a Yankee, it was poetry.

BRIAN SCHLITTER, THE POEM
Some day, when fates be blowin' bitter,
Our four-run lead, turned into litter,
We'll face some massive clean-up hitter,
And give the ball to Brian Schlitter.

He's no Cliff Lee, no rank bull-shitter,
No David Price, with tweets on Twitter.
No Greinke, scared of Gotham's glitter.
No Dice K, needs no babysitter.

He throws just strikes, no walks-permitter,
He owns the famous Schlitter Schplitter!
(Though some would claim he throws a spitter.)
Today, the Yanks claimed Brian Schlitter!